A Torrent of Hate-mail

I thought I'd finished with reader feedback for 2011 back in September, but a few things happened this week just gone that turned what had been a few emails a month (most of them simple notes of thanks) into a torrential downpour of hate-mail. On the 18th, NiceGuy's Land of the Losers was discovered by Danielle Corsetto, author of the webcomic "Girls With Slingshots", who was looking for inspiration for her character "Jim". She tweeted that she'd found a way to "get inside Jim's head" and linked back here. Danielle's representation of Jim as a "Nice Guy" is laughable of course (though I hate to link to them, the relevant strips are here and here), but her casual dismissal of this site as the rantings of a male who couldn't get laid led to a storm of tweets that is yet to die down.

A number of emails followed - some supportive, some disagreeing, but for the most part, respectful in tone. That didn't last.

The noises on Twitter shortly thereafter made their way to Tumblr (a "microblogging" platforum that feels a bit like Myspace in terms of the quality of its content, only worse), at which point we were treated to a second influx of traffic from the blog of one Josh Macedo. His "dramatic reading" of portions of the site and forums did nothing to actually address the validity of the content of course, and was cherrypicked for optimum misrepresentation. Worse, the polite suggestion that he had deliberately misled his readers was met with Josh immediately going full retard, and launching into a 3-page diva tantrum full of wild allegations and poorly-researched opinions. I am not going to address that here.

Josh's histrionics prompted the biggest shitstorm of hate-mail this site has seen since coming to the attention of the SomethingAwful goons since 2005. Legions of raging female teens armed with keyboards and a sense of entitlement bigger than the Roman Empire have, without bothering to even glance at the site's content, spewed their bile out onto the Internet and the nearest convenient target - us. So, without further ado, I present you with some examples of the very reason this site exists, and my responses to their ravings.

Kelly Writes

I don't know what the hell kind of sad, pathetic issues you have, but this site is fucking unacceptable. Your site and forums are disgusting, and there is nothing nice about any of them or you. Get over yourself and realize that women aren't there just to make you feel happy, give you sex, or make you food. Grow the cock-sucking fuck up and stop being an insecure pussy.

My Reply

Well thanks for writing there Kelly ^_^ It's nice to meet you too.

"Unacceptable", huh? Well I guess I'd better close up shop then. Can't let them uppity males get the idea they can say something that might offend a woman... As for our site and forums being disgusting, most of our members and readers find the behavior of American women disgusting. You're a big girl, I'm sure you can deal with it.

>Get over yourself and realize that women aren't there just to make you feel happy, give you sex, or make you food. Grow the cock-sucking fuck up and stop being an insecure pussy.

Hey, if I kill it, the least you can do is cook it. That system has worked pretty well for the last 50,000 years. I see no reason to change it now. And by the way, if I was insecure, I wouldn't be married to a lovely lady who makes me feel happy, gives me sex and makes me food.

Well that was an easy dispatch. I didn't hear back from Kelly, but that's no surprise.

Annie's Email


I'm just emailing you to tell you that I think you're a misogynistic piece of shit. Go back to the Stone Age! Women in the 18-35 demographic are not "crazy" or even fraudulent. We're really, really not!

Let me expand on this a bit and try to be a little more articulate, as flaming gets old after a while.

We're all just trying to find our own way and protect ourselves in the the process. Our "bait-and-switch" technique might just be telling you that no matter how many times you beg and grovel and act entitled to it, maybe we just don't fucking feel like sleeping with you. So there, maybe we're not "skanks" after all. Ha! How d'ya like THEM apples?! Do you have any idea what it's like to be an American woman under the age of 40? Constantly held up to ridiculous standards, constantly fetishized and criticized, constantly gawked at lecherously by fucking creeps like you? And then when we turn 40, bam, we're "invisible" because we're "aging." And if we don't breed and get married like good little Stepford bitches by that time, we're screwed. How do you THINK we're supposed to act when these are the standards imposed upon us? It's confusing, at the least! Is it really so much of a problem f or you that many American women are just trying to be themselves, have a good time, and might not agree with your points of view on sexuality and relationships? Apparently they all date "losers," right? Jesus Christ, talk about sour grapes! Don't get all butt-hurt just because a "chick" chose some other guy over YOUR sorry ass.

Furthermore, trying to compare us to Japanese culture is like comparing apples and oranges. They are simply socialized differently than we are...it's not "better" or "worse," just different. Do you want American women to be these docile, gentle little creatures who simply do everything you say and have no personality?! I mean, sorry, but WHAT year is it?! Look, I can understand your frustration with the double standards...I think the women who shamelessly flaunt their sexuality in one breath and then get mad when the guy doesn't hold the door for them, are pretty hypocritical too. It works both ways and I realize that. But don't you see that you're making a hell of a generalization? It sounds to me like some of this is YOUR problem. The way you talk about women is genuinely scary, like Ed Gein/deranged sex offender/serial killer scary. Did you eat paint chips as a kid or something? I don't know what the fuck happened to you to make you feel that way towards us, but it makes YOU sound like a psycho creep. You know, I've had plenty of lousy experiences with guys, but I still pride myself on being able to get along with most of them, having good times in my relationships with them, staying friends even when we break up, and ultimately doing okay after all. As much as it's caused ME a fair share of frustration, at the end of the day, I've still managed to stay human about it and keep a level head. You, on the other hand...I don't even know where to start, but I haven't even met you and not only do I not like you, but you scare me. There are LOTS of reasons why women don't want a guy like you...if you can't figure at least some of them out, then you don't deserve a loving relationship with ANYBODY.

In short, after skimming your site full of sexist drivel, I honestly can't believe you ever got laid in your entire life, let alone actually made it to the engagement phase of things. I saw that she is now an ex-fiance. GEE, I WONDER WHY? Women don't appreciate being treated like shit, you know. There are many who give my gender a bad name, but we are NOT all like that, just like I realize not ALL guys are sociopathic jerk-offs like you. Thank God for that. And God help you if you ever get married or worse yet, have a child and pass this tripe onto them.

Anyway, have fun wanking to this post and if you put it on your site, please do not post my name. I fear for the women of Japan...you need some serious, serious help.

So Annie wrote an essay. Going through it line by line was going to be tedious, so I decided to try a different approach...

My Response

Hi Annie! Thanks for writing. I haven't laughed so hard at an email in ages. :D You've done a perfect job of imitating exactly the kind of female the site is about!

I love it how you portray the absolute self-entitlement attitude the site derides. A woman has the right to dangle sex in front of a man and then act offended when he actually thinks she might be interested? Classic!

The part about being an American woman under 40 is brilliant! First complaining about being noticed and then complaining about not being noticed! What does a woman want?! You've met women like this I'm guessing? You just can't explain to them they're not under any obligation to pay attention to what anybody else thinks, but you and I knew that already, right? ;) And the part about Japanese culture? Spot on! You have no idea how many times my asian wife and I on the receiving end of this from Western women! The casual racism is mind-boggling, as are the assumptions of superiority! "I know how to make your life hell so you should choose me over that lovely polite and feminine girl over there." Exactly right!

And then there's the, the "well you're just mentally sick" line! Reserved for when the woman can't think of anything else. It's incredible how they all turn into armchair psychologists when somebody says something they don't like. Other variants include "you have a small penis", "you will die alone" and my personal favorite, "you must be gay". Just in case you want to try them in future as well. :D

Annie, I've really enjoyed reading your email, because you've pretty much managed to cover the entire reason for the site's existence in a single email. The type of woman you're portraying is the kind most American men put up with on a daily basis (but they're "not all like that"... teehee!). I just wish more of them knew they didn't have to.

Whorebag (the ex-fiancee you mentioned)... without her, this site would not exist. She's almost a caricature of the stereotypical "psycho ex-girlfriend" I know. Seriously though, she was not pleased when the engagement was called off. She thought she had a meal ticket for life, but it was not to be. Actually, if you want to read how it all ended, you can read about her here.

Oh, and don't worry, I'll definitely be posting this! The other ladies on the site are going to have a real laugh, I know.

I dusted my hands off after that reply, presuming that I wouldn't be hearing from Annie again, but she proved more tenacious than Kelly. She fired off a flurry of replies, clearly conflicted over my response, but eventually seemed prepared to settle for a more concilatory position.

You know what I should've just said in the first place? And you can go ahead and post THIS one, it's nice and short. Honestly, I don't disagree with a lot of your observations about American women. I see where you're coming from and I find the behavior of most American women similarly off-putting. I might be just as angry as a lot of them for being treated badly by men, but I don't pull any of their dirty tricks when it comes to sex or manipulating men to get what I want. So let me clarify...what I DO disagree with on your site, is the language you use to say it...that's what set me off in the first place and made me so angry at a total stranger. It honestly made it hard to even truly see your point because everything you write is so full of the terrible names you call women. You probably would have a lot more credibility if you didn't feel inclined to resort to words like "bitch," "slut," or "whorebag." Okay, I've said my piece. I still don't think you're really that "nice," per se, but shit, perhaps your site is a perspective some people could use...it's just a shame that it initially comes across as being so vicious and hateful.

This has been the only positive outcome in the whole sorry episode so far, which is a relief because the next hate-mail by Anonymous (no name was given in the sender field) just makes me feel tired.

Anonymous Complains About The Friend-Zone

FUCK YOU. You think nice guys are the only ones that get friend-zoned? HA! What about the fat chicks? The single moms? The smart girls? The "ugly" girls? Instead of chasing that damn gold digger with the fake boobs and expensive hair, look for a real girl who hasn't replaced her heart with diet pills. Since having a kid, I've been on two dates. TWO! And I got friend-zoned after each one. Stop being a goddamn hypocrite, and don't lump me into that mess of silicone and diamonds.

My Reply

Hi there!

Why thank you for writing in and proving precisely the point this website makes about women.

So... what about the fat girls, smart girls, ugly girls and single mothers? Seriously, what about them? It's far easier for a woman to attract a mate than it is for a guy. All most women have to do is issue an invitation, and the man they invite will rarely say no. It really is that easy for them. If they lack the self-confidence to approach somebody, that is hardly the man's fault.

You didn't bother to read the site at all, did you. Of course not - that would have required actual effort. There's a series on ex-girlfriends there. I'm sure you'll find most of them sufficiently "real". Naturally in your mind though, any man who finds fault with women's behavior must have been trying to date outside of his "class". Can't let men get away with approaching a woman who is "too attractive for him".

Why would you expect any decent man to volunteer to raise some other man's child? That just means the two men you went on dates with have some small sense of self-preservation. You picked the wrong man to procreate with. Nobody else is going to want to clean up that mess. No, I think you fit in perfectly fine with the women the site singles out.

Seriously, the whole thing comes across as a woman raging that men are failing to pay her the attention she's due because she no longer has the dating market value she used to. That is not a big surprise to any man out there, yet Anonymous is shocked, shocked that it has affected her prospects in any way.

There are more of course, but the three I've posted here are the most coherent (shocking I know). What can I say - barfing on your keyboard doesn't lend itself to eloquence.


"Okay, until next time. Keep sending me your questions, and I will make fun of you... I mean, answer them.." -- Strong Bad, Some Kinda Robot

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