Feedback 2011: Love And Hate
Another year has gone by here at NiceGuy's site, and NiceGuy's email inbox has once again filled up with assorted mail. It's always fascinating to see what people will write in a message to someone they don't know on the Internet, especially since in the age of "Web 2.0" and "Social Media", writing an email takes more effort than simply posting a "fire and forget" comment in some miscellaneous topic.
Looking at the emails received over the past few months, one thing in particular stands out: a significant number of them are from women and they are messages of support. I find this fascinating, particularly since women prepared to stand up for a man's point of view are rarely (if ever) acknowledged in traditional publishing media, whether it's television, radio or the various forms of print media. That doesn't mean they don't exist of course, but I find it fascinating all the same. I've done my best to respond to those emails in the spirit of mutual respect. Naturally, there was the usual helping of hate mail too, which will also get the treatment it deserves.
So, with the introductions out of the way, let's dig in....
Bill Writes
I have been looking for a while for some sort of web site that supports the way I feel and am GRATEFUL that you did this. Do you know of any clubs or organizations that I could participate in that might help me? Thanks, man. Your site is dead on right.
My Reply
Bill, it's always great when the site receives letters of thanks. Finding NiceGuy's site
made a huge difference to me personally, and helped me to articulate that sense I'd had
for quite some time that something wasn't quite right. As for clubs or organisations,
sadly most attempts to start real-world men's clubs have been met with fierce opposition.
I'd say the best thing you can do at this stage is cultivate deep friendships with men you
can trust and who share your feelings on this matter, and perhaps spend some time looking
at the various men's websites that exist until you find one that has a community you'd like
to join. You're more than welcome to join the Mancoat Forums
right here at NiceGuy's Land of the Losers if you'd like like!
Dan's Email
Hi NiceGuy,
I wanted to say how much I enjoy reading your views on women, sexism, and all that good stuff.
I am 26, have been married for just over a year, and my wife and I are currently separated :(
This is because she has been verbally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically abusive to me
and blames it on ME. I really don't know what to do with her because I love her and want to be
with her again, but I don't think she'll change anytime soon. I guess my question is how did
you deal with your ex? What did you do about it? What should I do about this situation?
Thanks very much,
Dan (also a nice guy!)
My Response
Yikes! I'm sorry to hear about that Dan. That's a raw deal you've got there, no question.
All I can really do is point you to NiceGuy's article on how his engagement ended. It
was painful for him, but was ultimately for the best. In my experience, if one person in the
relationship is genuinely abusive, there really isn't anything the other can do to change them,
no matter how much they might love them - the abused party is always little more than a target
or convenience to the other. Having said that, what you do is ultimately your decision, and
I'm sure you'll find the strength to make the right one, whatever that may be. I hope your
situation improves, and hope to hear back from you when it does.
Boy, that was a depressing email to read. American women really do seem to treat marriage like toilet paper these days. Married only a year and already separated? What house of cards did Dan's wife build in her mind that came tumbling down when she realised she wouldn't be sitting on her behind eating bon-bons all day I wonder....
Sarah On Sammiches
I love your articles! I may be a woman but they make absolute sense! I'm bi, (yep, i'm putting that out there to a stranger) so I've had my fair share of the typical whore bag that seems to have meandered into our lives. I'll support men on their liberation! So what if they call me a hypocrite? I know that what most women do is not right on the more 'masculine set' people of our society. I wish that things like this would get published and put out a lot more in our society. It might save men from going through the same thing you did and also make females more aware of their actions (and hopefully make them think twice about the things they do). I don't care if you email me back or not. I just want you to know that there are females out there that do know about and support your article and the men's movement! Now back to the kitchen to make a sammich lol.
I Like Sammiches
Sarah,
I'm glad you enjoy reading the articles on the site! A lot of time and effort has gone into writing
them, and if at least one person takes some kind of value away, then their creation was justified.
You're right about dating of course. For some reason, a certain group of women have no qualms about
treating men as "money objects", but scream bloody murder when asked to lift a single finger
on their own behalf. I'd just like to say thanks for your support, and I'm looking forward to those
sammiches!
Well, that was fun to read. It's not every day somebody sends an email and signs off with "back to the kitchen to make a sammich"! I wonder if Sarah is still out there breaking female entitlement whore's brains?
Finally, here's one from the "nasty" pile that I just couldn't resist having a bit of fun with....
Tania's Not Racist! Honest!
Dear Pathetic Guy:
An American woman would never marry a weak, spineless cretin like you. Stick with Asian women as they
are better equipped to handle submissive, weak minded "boys" like yourself. Let me guess, you have a
hairless chest and you are unable to grow a beard. American women marry, date and devote themselves
to men with character, not whiny losers who let fear, anxiety and inferiority complexes dictate their
life.
You are lame.
My Reply
Dear Tania,
You can imagine how delighted I was to receive your well-thought-out analysis of how infinitely superior
you are to practically every female of Asian descent. Believe me when I say neither myself, nor anybody
else who frequents this site is in any danger of marrying an American woman. This fact alone should move
you to celebration, since clearly you would prefer that he keep his beardless face and hairless chest well
away from high-quality, sassy, picky, "strong" women like yourself. As if this didn't make you an
attractive enough marriage prospect (bigotry is sexy!), your desire to lash out at people you don't even
know on the Internet certainly seals the deal.
I wish you the best, and hope that you will reconsider any attempt to write further as I sincerely doubt
your keyboard will withstand the thrashing required to meet the same exemplary standard set by your previous
email a second time.
Well, that's it for now, and I hope you enjoyed reading what other people had to say about NiceGuy's Land of the Losers. If you have anything you'd like to see in the reader feedback section, feel free to click on the link below and email NiceGuy yourself!
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"Misogynists are not born, they are made." -- Zenpriest
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