Feedback 2010: The Undiscovered Email
NiceGuy used to spend quite a bit of time responding to his readers when he was still head honcho here. It was something that really gave the site a personal touch - especially in the days before "blogging" became so trendy. The problem was that when he stepped down as administrator and webmaster, email continued to pour in but the responses stopped.
Earlier this year, we changed web hosts for reliability reasons. As part of the changeover, I began rooting through all of the files sitting around on the server. Aside from two very old copies of the site, a half-finished article, a moldy pretzel and some cheese, I discovered NiceGuy's old email account. It had been sitting there - unchecked - for quite some time. "Hmmm... why not see if anybody still writes in to the site", I thought.
Opening the inbox I discovered that people were still writing in. Frequently in fact! Looking at the messages sitting there unanswered, I suddenly thought I might understand what it was like to be Ringo Starr. Somebody took the time to write, and those messages deserved a response, so I took a deep breath and got to work answering them.
So without further ado, let's see what kind of emails have been hitting NiceGuy's inbox lately... In fact, I think I'll start with something positive for a change.
Jennifer Writes
As an american woman, I just wanted to let you know that even though you were really pissed off while explaining your take on american women, I pretty much agree with you. I took a class in college about Japanese vs american school and education practices, so I met alot of japanese girls in the class. They were nicer than us hard ass americans, have to say. I've often felt alienated by my own gender in my own country. I have really nice women friends, but i've had to work hard to find them. not that easy. I don't care for alot of American men, either, though. But, like you said, there's a reason they're out of sorts these days. My brothers are sweet and happily married, they like women, but only nice ones. They treat me like a girl, but respect me too. I love men who can do that. I wish more men were like my brothers. I went to a small small town juniorhigh and high school, my class was almost all boys, so I grew up really understanding and loving males in a natural way, with plenty of time in the process. I'm lucky to have had the time to develop a deep understanding, or at least the desire to understand, the male psyche. I don't usually dork out like this, but you made me want to gush sincere, thank you for your heart felt rant, you're not mean, I can tell.
My Reply
Your positive email is very gratefully received, as many women who email NiceGuy usually don't bother stopping to actually think about what he has actually said - the negative AND the positive. It's great to hear that you've grown up in a male-positive environment and no doubt both yourself and the men in your life will be mentally healthier because of it.
I love the final line. "You're not mean. I can tell." I realise it wasn't directed at me, but it made my day let me tell you. Jennifer looks like she's got a pretty healthy attitude towards men, and that really seems to be a rarity these days - too many women spend their time blaming men for their ills.
Scott Goes Japanese
I thoroughly concur with you about N American women. Put up with
pretty much the same BS from the ladies in the good 'ol U.S. of A. and
Canada.
My mom would always say to me things like; you are trying too hard,
you're too easy, yada yada yada. To which I'd say; so I should be
somewhat of a lying bullshitting douche bag who sounds tough, take no
crap - hard ass? Is that right, or more importantly, is it me?! I'm not
like any of my siblings in that I'm not a nightclub entertainer,
businessman or salesman personality, but just a good humble person who
can fix just about anything whether mechanical or electrical, has a
decent job which enabled me to install sophisticated telecommunications
equipment globally. The end results were always the same with the women:
You're not my type basically. WTF!!!
I had an opportunity to pull a job in Japan, accepted and went. Well
let me tell you, the furthest thing from my mind was to meet someone and
to become intimately involved given that I was only allowed this one job
(2-3 mos.) before having to go back to N. Jersey. BTW if you're white,
5'7'' and not a "rough neck" in Joysee, you might as well resolve to
only jack-n-the beanstalk.
While in Sendai I did what the rest of us pretty much did and that was
having fun and truthfully trying to get laid. I met my future to be wife
on the job site, invited her to see my country and proposed, to which
she said YES. We've been married over 18 years now, have a wonderful Son
and all three are a happy close family.
I have noticed, especially in the last dozen years or so, that she
doesn't befriend anyone anymore. I've asked why, is there a problem or
what not but she just says "well I don't know" or "I don't fit in" etc.
etc. But I know and you know that we and our ladies are very fortunate
people in that we both recognize and don't have a need to follow this
pretentious BS to "fit in".
See, isn't a happy ending great? Scott leaves North America and suddenly finds a wife. But of course since he had to leave the USA to find companionship that makes him a huuuuuuuuuuge loooooooser as far as American women are concerned. But you know what? I'll be Scott is too busy living happily ever after with his Japanese wife to care.
My Response
Thankyou for your email to NiceGuy, Scott. NiceGuy has now moved on with his life and no longer checks his email, so I do my best to do so in his stead as I am now the webmaster for the site. Like you, I also met my future wife abroad in South-East Asia. There's no better feeling than checking out of the rat race that American women seem to love putting guys through. Glad to hear everything ended well for you. Please do consider becoming a member of the forum.
Patrick Is Bummed Out
Ah! Now here's one in a different flavour. Patrick seems a bit depressed that someone could actually write such horrible, hateful things!
Jesus Christ, man. I feel truly sorry that events have occurred in your life which have led you to believe that writing tens of thousands of words about how much you hate women and paying monthly fees to make them available on the internet is a good idea. Like, shit, man. I was all drunk and about to pass out peacefully and now I'm gonna be bummed out knowing that someone out there could actually be like this.
Well it's like this Patrick... when something bad happens to you, it usually helps to work through it. Some people like to talk things through. Some people like to write. NiceGuy did the latter, and you know what? A lot of what he wrote was correct; if some of it sounds hateful, could it be because there are women out there who manage to be worthy of that hate? You bet there are, and at some point in their lives, most men will encounter one or more of these women. The gleeful maliciousness that young women engage in is enough to make you gag at times. If you're looking for a more authoritive source however, may I suggest that the book Queen Bees & Wannabes makes for some pretty sobering reading.
Male Advantage Is Here To Stay
This last one is from Tiffany, and boy is it a doozy. I don't think there's a single coherent thought in this email, so it makes a fun read. I wonder if Tiffany goes around randomly squawking at other websites she disagrees with?
I hope you can use your handsome cock to get drinks cheap at the bar or count on
your sex appeal to be hired for a job then you can see how humiliating it is to have
merit based on sexual appeal rather than intelligence and personality.
Bottom line: being able to use sex appeal to get what you want is NOT an advantage,
it's a giant sexist frustration. Do you understand little princess?
MALE ADVANTAGE IS HERE TO STAY and women must cope as best they can and be faithful
to men who are such pigs to them.
So... being able to use sex appeal to get what you want is not an advantage, but Tiffany admits she does it anyway. After all, if she didn't want to feel "humiliated", wouldn't it be simple enough to refuse those free drinks? No, that would be inconvenient. I don't think Tiffany really thought that one through before she sent it. All she has to do as a woman is use the suggestion of access to her "handsome vagina" (*laugh*) to get almost whatever she wants. If Tiffany wanted to be noticed for her intelligence and personality however, she's not winning any competitions in my book.
Tiffany, here's a tip: writing catty letters to somebody on the Internet doesn't show you have personality, it just shows you have nothing better to do with your time. I however, am quite happy to admit I have nothing better to do with my time than reply to you! The only advantage men have is eventually coming to the realisation that nobody is going to give them anything for free, and working hard to make something for themselves. If women don't want to join the party, I'd say they are holding themselves back, not the pigdog men they associate with.
That's All Folks!
Well folks, that's it for now. Keep writing in and I'm sure we'll have enough to make these little get-togethers a regular thing.
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"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -- Nelson Mandela
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