June 1, 2004
Latest new article is posted, the long-awaited: Politely Refusing Rieko's Passion, Part II. Read it! Read it now! I command you!
At the end of the story, you'll notice that I gave Haruna a heartfelt and sincere apology for what happened.
If she'd been an American chick, a heartfelt and sincere apology would've been considered a sign of weakness.
Furthermore, she would keep reminding me of the incident for the next 15 years whenever she got mad at me.
I suppose the only way to have dealt with an American chick in that case would've been to scream: "SHUT YER YAP, BEEYOTCH! I'LL DO AS I PLEASE! NOW GET YER ASS BACK IN THAT KITCHEN AND MAKE ME SOME PAH!"
In fact, anything more contrite than giving repeated hard whacks across the back of the head with a ping-pong paddle would've been considered 'spineless' if I had a North American girlfriend.
But anyway, the results from the "Photo Caption" game on the forum are in.
In the contest, forum members were encouraged to vote on lighthearted, mirthful and subtly hilarious captions for one of those disturbing photos from Abu Ghraib, Iraq.
Humor simply can't rise much higher than that, can it?
Here's the winner:
Quite the pearly-white Miss Universe smile, isn't it? Note the enthusiastic 'thumbs-up' and those eyes full of the mercurial glee of a job well done. Yes, our pictured warrior-princess still manages to look as charming as a moonbeam even though her back is painfully stooped-over owing to the lifetime of floor-scrubbing which she's clearly been so oppressed by. And what a lucky, privileged fellow he is, eh? Isn't that typical for a man-- the lazy bum is loafing-around in a sleeping bag while a hard-working woman has been slaving-away, thoughtfully keeping him cool with plenty of Freedom Ice™. In fact, she's pulled-on some gloves in attentive preparation for a complimentary shampoo and cream-rinse... but the unshaven slob doesn't even have enough manners to wipe the cherry yogurt he sloppily spilled all over his cheek. The undeserving boor ought to be singing and dancing in gratitude for all the courtesy that charming young lady has selflessly given him.
(Yeah, it was factually an outrageous desecration of the dead which took place. But at least the pictured chick manages to find her sense of humor about it. In case you're interested, the name of the corpse is Manadel al-Jamadi. Al-Jamadi died in a prison shower room during a half-hour's worth of questioning in a position called "Palestinian hanging" which is considered a form of torture when other countries do it. The pathologist who examined him called his death a homicide.)
As for the contest, it was unexpected that there weren't any caption submissions which referenced "Weekend at Bernie's". But the winning entry wasn't my favorite. I thought the best was from coppertop999: "Let me assure all of you-- I'm the real victim here!"
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