December 7, 2004
As most of my regular readers know (God bless 'em!), I've been in Japan for about three years now. Three wonderful, fabulous years. Got a lot of laughs, a lot of good times and a lot of love. But there's a big change coming-up: I'll be moving back to the US in about 2 months.
Why? It's certainly not because I'm aching to leave. There's a mixture of family-related issues I have to consider (my grandma isn't going to be around forever) and I'd like to go back to college for a while. As a bonus, it's advantageous for me to swap currencies (over the past three years, the dollar has fallen by 24% against the yen.). I estimate I'll be stuck in Ameriskankland for as long as two or even two and a half years. Yeah, I'm not looking forward to much of it. I'll be holding my nose the whole time. (The jingoes alone are enough to make my hair curl.)
I swear: I am going to do everything I possibly can to minimize my time in the US. As soon as humanly possible, back abroad I'll go.
But what about Haruna? The bestest girlfriend I've ever had? Yes, a good question... I wouldn't be happy living without her. And she doesn't want to live without me, either. So she's also going to the US starting this spring. Yeah, that's a big surprise for me as well.
But NiceGuy! Don't bring Haruna back to North America! She'll be infected by Skankus Americanus and turn into one!
Yes friend, that has crossed my mind. If she entered such a noxious and mind-warping culture it's possible she'll be contaminated before long by the zombie-brigades who infest the place. A threat akin to the Borg from Star Trek. But I'm not as worried about that as you might think.
There are a number of personal characteristics that Haruna values. Among other things: she appreciates gentleness, elegance and quiet dignity.
She loves what American females usually have an appalling lack of.
(Honestly now, when is the last time you've ever seen "quiet dignity" and "American female" in the same sentence?)
She'll observe their surly truculence, their brattiness, their lack of manners and humility, their narrowness, their stunted culture, their viciousness and sexism. She'll come face-to-face with all the behind-the-back-whispering, the ego- and ethno-centrism, the indiscreetness, the loudness. She might even experience the ugly, racist contempt that all-too-many white females seem to have for the women from her part of the world, but I certainly hope she won't.
Whether it's the grabby freeloader-mentality of the quasi-traditionalist woman or the pharisaical preachiness of the Ekwalitee-loving pseudo-feminist, I think there's a good chance she will find American females to be so crude and so unrefined that this sojourn might very well inoculate her from ever turning into one.
But we shall see what happens. Perhaps it's fit to be considered another Grand Experiment?