September 27, 2002
This page will not be updated regularly in the near future. I just don't have the time any more, unfortunately. If I get some dynamite new reader feedback or something major happens to me, I'll post it... but I invite people to read everything I've written up until now...
I know I said that I don't want to reveal too much intimate information about my relationship with Haruna, but... but... something sorely relevant needs to be said here.
Okay, I'm getting ready to let it fly... Hold-on while I gird my loins, grit my teeth, and steel my nerves. I'm going to cringe as I say this...
Here it comes. Any second now. Wait for it...
Haruna is a ton better in bed than some of the American chicks I've slept with in the past! More than a few American chicks are inept in bed because they really don't pay much attention to how much pleasure the man gets! On more than one occasion, I have faked orgasms with American chicks just so they will let me go to sleep!
Oh, wow! (Pant!) My God (Phew!) I let that little truth slip-out, didn't I? Jehova, I must've lost my mind just then or something... daring to say that the Empress has forgotten her clothes, and all. Oh good, I'm still alive. I was positive that God would make my head implode for betraying such blasphemy. That's right, I'm a blasphemer. A bona-fide apostate of worshipping American Pussy.
Hm. You know, saying the truth wasn't so bad, was it? My hands are still trembling a bit, though. I'll be fine... Give me a minute. Just let me catch my breath...
It's not that Haruna has erotic magic secrets or is a wizard in bed... it's just that she is playful and makes sure that I have a good time too. She cares about my pleasure. More than a few American chicks I'd slept-with in the past just didn't seem to. It is the intimacy I get the most pleasure from, not the orgasm. I love having a woman hold me tight as we make love face-to-face. I love feeling her warmth next to me. I love hearing her pleasure-noises. And I love to stroke her skin afterwards. If I ever write about how much I want to have sex with a woman, it is primarily because I want to stroke her cheeks, feel her soft touch against my skin, and kiss every inch of her body. Not because I want a meaty hole to dip my wick into. That is, of course, what most American chicks assume that men are primarily after.
Do American women think that they should lie in bed, motionless on their backs like a gunnysack of yams? Do they really think that the man should do all the work when it comes to sex? Sadly, many of them will never know otherwise, because they have convinced themselves that they have golden vaginas. Plus, they seem to think that men can't fake orgasms (an ejaculation is not necessarily an orgasm, darlings...)
Don't get me wrong. This has absolutely nothing to do with the other reasons why I don't like American chicks. Sure, they make your eyes sting when you look at them too long. Sure, American chicks are loud, charmless, wraith-like and oft-pudgy. Sure, their legs are swarthily hairy and their sweat smells like a mildewed fish-shop. Sure, their countenance is bigoted and they don't know how to behave appropriately in public. Sure, they demand too much and give too little. Sure, they are maestros of the whine, the cheat, the complaint, the face-slap, the condemning gaze and the belittling sneer. Sure, half of them think that a stimulating conversation consists of talking at length about what brand of nail-polish they're wearing. Sure, they think a man's worth does not extend beyond his income. But put all of those statements aside for a second and forget I ever said them. This next flaw is totally separated from all the others...
Quite a few of the American chicks I've had sex with weren't all that great in bed. Yet, they seemed convinced that their cooters were the best on the planet. Not every chick is as good in bed as she claims to be. They can't all be above average, you know.
So my advice to you ladies back home: go stiff, put your arms at your sides, and let him go to work until he tires himself. He just wants a hole to put his pee-pee in. Naturally, inform your boyfriend as to your body's sensitive spots by strictly saying: 'No, not there. Not there. Not that way. You're not doing it right. You're no good at all, ya dumb twat.' Yeah, that's the ticket to better sex.
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