December 4, 2002
My life never ceases to fill with upcoming adventures. My brother recently informed me that he's going to spend a year studying in St. Petersburg, Russia. Naturally, this gives me an excuse to go to visit him when he is there.
I know it has been a long time. Too long, perhaps. I hope I haven't given anyone the impression that I'd given-up for good. I've just been very, very busy. Working, traveling, relaxing. That sort of stuff.
Haruna and I have been very busy indeed, and something of great significance happened within our relationship. So significant, I feel the need to write it down. Three weeks ago, Haruna and I took a trip to the Mt. Fuji area. The bullet-train stopped in a small city called Numazu and we were about to spend a great weekend at a hot-spring spa on the nearby Izu peninsula. So we were strolling along the Numazu waterfront and holding hands. The beach wasn't all that great: it was stony and littered with large peices of rusting machinery. But fortunately the beach did face westward and we were treated to a spectacular and most romantic view. Directly in front of us was the orange orb of the setting sun. The venerable and distinctive cone of Mount Fuji was to our right, highlighted in burnt umber. A cigar-shaped wisp of cloud was desperately clinging to the lip of the volcano's crater. It was a simply gorgeous sight. We stood for several minutes together, watching the sun set. Suddenly, the silence was broken.
"NiceGuy?" Haruna asked.
"Hm?" I replied, absent-mindedly stroking her hand with my fingers.
"I love you."
Everything froze. Her words echoed in my mind. What was that?
I raised an eyebrow and immediately turned to face her. She looked-up at me earnestly. I could tell she really meant it.
"Come here." I whispered. She did. I put my arms around her. What do I say to her? "Haruna, baby. Sweetheart. You are a very wonderful woman. I have noticed all the beautiful qualities you have." Her face was buried in my chest. No, I wanted to look into her eyes; I crouched-down until I was eye-level with her navel. She gazed-down at me as I put my arms around her waist. "You have said something very precious and important to me. You give me very special emotions, too."
She nodded. "I do love you." I think her eyes were getting moist.
"Oh, Haruna-chan..." I held her tight, pressing my ear against her stomach. Yes, I had special emotions for her, but it's too early for me to say it is love. I don't want to tell her I love her if it isn't true. But I felt like a trustee of her love, I had to reassure her that her feelings weren't being wasted on me.
"Honey, I know how precious your feelings are. I know you have a very loving heart." I held her tighter. "I will never take advantage of your love. I want to treat you as well as you treat me, and I never want to see you hurt." She stroked my hair and I stood-up. "Sweetie, you are such a good girlfriend. You really are. Thank you for being you." And with that, we kissed.
I don't have the luxury of treating a woman's love with carelessness. Yes, I consider myself to be the trustee of her love.
Just wanted to finally get that out.
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