Yet Another Reader Contributes Their Story

I received this one a few days ago... As I've said before, it's always most groovy to get e-mail from someone new.

This is from a reader, whom I'll call Xuxit.

Xuxit writes:

Okay, so I'm only a sophomore in high school, but I've still dealt with my fair share of valley-girls to know that women generally suck. I too have been burned one too many times. (Good God, only in 10th Grade(!) In 10th Grade I was sitting at home on weekends, deciding whether to watch Mystery Science Theater 3000 or read the same graphic novels for the thousandth time. I didn't go-out on a date involving kissing until 12th grade. -- NG) I was about to give up again (I'll explain that in the next paragraph), but your page... I don't know why, has given me some sort of hope... that I'm not the only NiceGuy out there. Anyway, onto the uber-fun stories. (Ach Herr Kommandant, der über-fun stories! Time for a change of pace. Not like those quasi-sucky stories that I normally churn-out in volcanic quantities. -- NG)

Like I was saying, this first story is about when I gave up hope about being a nice guy for the first time. Last year, I felt that being nice to girls was a waste of time. (If it helps, I think it is mostly a waste of time, too. You always end-up feeling cheated. -- NG) What use was it if I couldn't find a girl that would like me for me? Keeping that in my own mind, I stopped being nice to girls. As expected, within a few weeks, I went out with the first typical girl that liked me. (I wonder- did she go-out with him because he wasn't nice? -- NG) Now that I look back on it, it was the biggest mistake of my life. She was your average girl; average looks, below average personality and intelligence, just all around typical. (Well, all women are above average. Or that's what they each insist, at least. -- NG) The saddest part of it was that I deluded myself into thinking that was what I wanted for three months. Three wasted months. Three months when I wasn't myself. (Well, twelve weeks ain't so bad. -- NG) I did everything possible to make her happy. I was always there for her, always supportive, always apologized, even when things weren't my fault, bought her gifts (I spent maybe $300 just on frivolous gifts (chocolates, flowers, the like) in the time span of two months (Deja vu here, whoa. But for future reference, a really hot girl will think that spending $300 on her in under two weeks is chump change. -- NG)... after that I stopped caring when I realized how little she actually appreciated them... at least she had the decency to thank me.), I was the best boyfriend I knew how to be. The best "NiceGuy" I knew how to be. But none of this was good enough. She was constantly angry with me, and then would seek my emotional support. She would get even angrier if I didn't tell her exactly what she wanted to hear, which was almost never the truth. (Yeah, they sometimes don't give you much room to be honest, do they? On top of that, they sometimes try to trap you with loaded questions like 'notice everything different?' where any answer you say is wrong. -- NG)

This went on for three months, until I couldn't take it anymore. I said fuck it, and became bitter. I haven't had a relationship since, although I am seeking, which brings me to my next story. I am the biggest disgrace to NiceGuys everywhere (Is he? I mean, did he run-up to the top of a church tower with a Kalashnikov and rain flaming death upon the populace of Anytown, U.S.A.? If not, I don't think the epithet 'disgrace' is in order. -- NG)... I feel like I took on the role of the woman, for some part, in a relationship with my best friend. Amanda, the girl in the story, my very good friend at the time, (I'd even go so far to say one of my best) had been dropping hints about some mysterious guy she liked. I didn't think much of it, until she made it so blatantly obvious, there was no way I couldn't know.

We talked about it, and she had strong feelings for me... but I was afraid. I was afraid of losing a friendship so special. I had feelings for her too. But I masked them, and told her that I couldn't bear the thought of losing our friendship (which is true, but I denied feelings). Now I'm in the dreaded friend zone. (I mean, if he felt it wasn't an appropriate situation to have a romantic relationship with her, then that's his call. He might've done the right thing. Feh, I wouldn't call myself a disgrace over using discretion. -- NG) Now my feelings for her have become too strong to suppress. I know what I want, and I want her. She's beautiful, and has a near perfect body. I'd give her a 9.5/10 in the physical department. (Hmm, I'm usually ultra-strict with giving-out my 9's. Oh, and 10 is well-nigh unattainable by mortals. -- NG) She's also very kind, and sweet... hell, she even wrote me a poem once! That has to be one of the nicest things a girl has ever done for me. She is the kind of girl who would want to watch the stars at night then go to a party and have sex. She's always there for me, and can even make me smile when I'm in tears. But what upsets me more than anything is the horrible past she's had with guys. Abusive boyfriends, broken hearts, cheating assholes. But the one thing she can't get over, and won't let herself get over, is falling in love with what she thought was a nice guy. One of my "friends"... he was afraid of commitment, and dropped her and ran when he didn't like the way things were going. He didn't try or anything. Now she has cut herself off from relationships. (Sounds like she's wallowing about in gushers of self-flagellation to protect herself. But I can't say I know her or how she reacts to past failed relationships, so just ignore this comment. -- NG) But what makes me a disgrace, is how I had the chance, and I fucking lost it, because I was too much of a pussy to take the chance for love. *I* told *HER* that I wanted to be friends because I couldn't deal with losing her. (Well, life is a whole load of missed opportunities. If it's any solace: he's in 10th grade. He's got a whole lifetime of opportunities to potentially not miss. He should just be thankful he's not doing this kind of stuff when at the age of 48, or something. -- NG) This is the one girl that I've met, that didn't suck. She isn't absorbed by superficial things, and liked me for me. But I was too god damn blinded by own stupidity, I couldn't see the greatest thing in my life when it bit me in the ass. *I* was "the woman". (Yep, that'll happen sometimes. -- NG)

This is my warning to other guys to NOT make the same mistake I did! Anyway, I want to commend you on an awesome page. Before this, I nearly gave up again, and became an asshole just to satisfy my own urges for a girl. But I guess this, and personal experience has proven to me that no matter how good it seems at the time, it's not worth it. So thank you, NiceGuy

Well, I'm glad I could help, if only to make him feel grateful that he's not me... Yeah, I understand exactly how scary it can be to go from a good friendship to taking the next step... I've gotta say- he sounds like he's learned from this experience, but it's always wise to think before jumping into a relationship. I guess... I look-back at my life in 10th grade. High school seemed like everything. It absorbed most of my time, and everyone I got into contact with during the day was in school with me. When you're stuck in school, it's the entire planet to you; and it was like being on Planet Crap. Well, after high school I got into college, and I found that no one cares about what you did in high school. In grad school, no one really cares very much about where you went to college. In the long-run, high school is really meaningless. Thank God I got-out of that hell-hole.

There's something about high-school that is like running a gauntlet of flame-spewing hell-beasts. No one escapes unscathed.

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"Why are the pretty ones always insane??" -- Chief Clancy Wiggam, The Simpsons.

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