Strip-Clubs (Updated to Reflect Current Realities).

I'm 26 and I've never been to a strip club until recently. Why? I guess I didn't like the principle. I considered it to be kind of degrading to women... which is a little hypocritical of me to say, since I have a pile of soft-core porn about knee-high. (Yeah, I'm a NiceGuy, but I still like to look at women. My porn collection is a symptom of my loneliness rather than me being a male pig. If there could be ONE girlfriend in my life who I could see naked, I'd torch the whole stack... well, I also have porn because I heard that Biblethumper Ashcroft was going to be Attorney General- I thought I'd stock-up on nudie pics while the law was still on my side. Grin)

I went to a job interview on time, and the building downtown was within spitting distance of two strip-clubs. Hmm, it made me wonder- if I got the job there (which I didn't) could I stop-off at the Jiggly Room after work? Or during lunch? I don't know. I didn't think I ever wanted to go to a strip club. It just didn't feel right having to pay a woman to take her clothes-off for me. I thought the décor would be kind of gaudy, too... maybe that's a wierd thing to say, but I like tasteful décor. Now, a Burlesque show would be interesting, perhaps, but you can't find one of those anymore.

So, what would it be like at a strip club? I didn't know. I saw them portrayed in movies (Showgirls, etc.) and the occasional TV program... so everything I knew about strip clubs was from hearsay and pop culture. I imagined that there would be burly toughs at the door who keep order. There would be a catwalk runway with one or more chrome poles. There would be a bar with overpriced and watered-down liquor. The colors and noises would be intended to inflame the senses... Already, this kind of place would've made me feel uncomfortable.

What would I do? I didn't know how to act in a strip-club... I didn't know how I was supposed to talk to a stripper. I imagined that I'd hold-out a handful of $20 bills. (I didn't know what the optimum denomination should be. $10? $20?) The woman would start to peel-off her clothes for me and maybe she'd rub-up against me. Even if I got goosebumps thinking about it, I thought it just wouldn't feel right somehow. I wanted to respect women. I wanted to be a guy who saw women as more than just sex objects. I didn't want to be the contemptible, leering, male pig that women despise so much.

When I was in college, some guys tried to force me to go to a strip club. I was 18 and idealistic enough to really think that if I refused to go, then perhaps that would mean that I wasn't a pig. So, I refused. What did that accomplish? Well, it alienated me from those guys- they thought that there was something seriously wrong with me that I didn't want to go. (Well, I also had class the next morning, and I didn't want to be out too late. I'm such a geek.)

So, my question: since I hadn't been to a strip club until age 26, would women put a 'plus' next to my name or a 'minus'?

It might be a plus, because it'd show that I thought it's a degrading gesture to women.

On the other hand, it might be a minus for some women, because they'll think that I'm wierd by not going until so late in life... besides, no one ever put a gun to an exotic dancer's head and forced her to dance. She made her own choice to degrade herself. If anything, I'm doing her a favor by shoveling my money into her panties.

Besides, I don't understand women's attitudes towards strip clubs... I think individuals vary. Some women say they'd never go, some women say they don't mind going with their boyfriends. I'm soooo confuzzled.

For the longest time, I did not know if it's okay to go to a strip-club. My Ex-Fiancée, however- she had a very obvious double-standard about it... she was actually pretty sexist, but she'd never admit to it.

One time, my Ex got invited to go-out to a club with her girlfriends to see some male dancers. She was all excited about going and she invited my (gay) brother to go with her.

He says "Sure, I'll go... provided that you give NiceGuy the same liberty." (My brother, by the way, is a really cool guy. He's one of my best friends.)

"What do you mean?" Whorebag asks.

"He means..." I chime-in, grinning because my brother would soon have her over a logical barrel. She would never allow me go to a strip-club. "... that he'll go to the show with you, if you'll let me go look at female dancers." I don't actually want to go, but I just want to hear Whorebag admit that she's sexist. That, and I would rather not have some steroid-popping stud gyrating in her lap if I could prevent it.

"No!" She snarls. "It's not the same."

"Why?" I ask. "Because I'm a man?"

"Yes! Guys get turned-on by it more. Women don't get turned-on as much. Therefore, I won't get as much out of it as you."

Oh la-dee-freaking-da! Nice little way to wheedle-out of a trap: claim that your biology gives you a disadvantage, so you can tilt the playing field in your favor. She never fought fair. In her little universe, men and women are equal, but they have to follow different rules; the ladies' rules, of course, allowed her more perks.

"Let me get this straight..." I shake my head, unable to believe that she doesn't grasp the double-standard. Her hypocrisy is oozing out of every pore right now- let's see if she'll realize it if I rub her face in it?? "You can go watch male dancers, but I can't watch female dancers?"

"Yes. It's different for women." She didn't even blink. She really believed what she was saying. She did not see the contradiction. Ladies, equality between the sexes means that we adhere to equal standards!

My brother laughs. "Come on!"

"It's true!" She is emphatic that she is right. "Women don't get turned on by it, so it doesn't mean anything. Guys really get horny from it, and I don't want NiceGuy getting-off on other women."

"Bullshit!" My brother laughs. "Women get turned-on by it too! Why else would you go??"

"No we don't! We're not as visually-stimulated as guys!"

"Whorebag..." My brother looks her dead in the eye, clucking his tongue. "You can't pull that bullshit on me! Look who you're talking to! I just think about a male stripper, and I get a stiffie." I wince at the mental image, but it gets his point across.

"Well, you're a guy too..." Was Whorebag's only comeback. Her argument was out of steam; she ended-up not going to the show... And you know what? If my brother hadn't been around to hammer her argument into the ground, she'd have gone to the show regardless of what I thought; NiceGuy was never allowed to win arguments with her. Furthermore, if she'd gone, she didn't have any money because she didn't work. *I* would have had to have given her the money so that she could stuff it down some guy's g-string. Wouldn't that have sucked?

What a sexist sow.

So, this brings me back to the original question: can I go watch strippers without being a male pig? I just don't know. Well, how would I behave in a strip-joint? Let's find out...

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"Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love." -- Woody Allen.

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