New Reader Response: The Invisble Hand.

This one basically speaks for itself. It's kind of short, but there's not much I can say that isn't redundant, because this is a situation that every man knows is true. ZeeJaeger writes:

...In April 2001 I was at a party in a high-tech region of the US. The house party was filled with IT people and nurses. Mostly economic refugees from various parts of Canada, taking advantage of the low Canadian dollar to pay off their student loan debts (in Canadian dollars) with high US dollars. (Ah, I love the currency exchanges and how they complicate life. I've since posted a story about a relationship I had with a foreign student, and how her currency problems spilled-over into my life, as well. -- NG)

Anyway, I'm introduced to various sundry people. The girls (mainly nurses) come up to me and ask me what (IT) company I work for. They're smiling that fake smile and I can see the dollar signs in their eyes. I really can't blame them, all that debt load and all. Anyway, I tell them that I'm not from the area, just visiting, and I'm an historian also finishing my PhD. The smile immediately disappears from their faces and I can see the dollar signs fall from their eyes. They ask me nothing else and I'm promptly left standing by myself after some wiggling by them and some excuse that they have to "go to the bathroom" or "see where their friend went," etc.. etc.. (Heh, here's an idea: if they ask you what tech company you work for, then reply with a big-name company. Convince them realistically that you're a big-shot. Then ask them where they work. Then respond with something like: 'good Lord, you're too low-class for me, I could never date someone as poor as you.' And leave them in the dirt. Call it 'sensitivity training'. -- NG)

It happens repeatedly and I find myself on a couch playing the bongos. The evening ends and I drive my friends home (I'm the designated driver for the evening). (Good man! Looks-out for his friends. -- NG)

I can't blame these girls for behaving the way they did. They can't help it. They're deep in debt and wanting to settle down. It's genetic. It's the nesting instinct. (Ha-ha, he's too nice. I wouldn't chalk it up to something as lofty as nesting instinct... it's greed. It's opportunism. It's 'nesting' insofar that it's their desire to feather their own nest at your expense. Don't make excuses for them. -- NG) They immediately find out I'm an historian and assume that I make little or no money at all, thus I do not make a suitable mate to bring home to mommy and daddy. They also assume that they can't milk me for all I'm worth because they assume I'm worth nothing. But the latter assumption is correct: they can't milk me for all I'm worth because I'm on to them. :) (Good. Decapitate their exploitative game before it's left the starting line. You don't need their kind. I like talking to historians because I think they're interesting... but then, that's just my own preference at any given party. -- NG)

As for ZeeJaeger, the next time he's in this position (and it sounds like he's not often in this sort of situation where money is so clearly an issue) he should play their game and expose them for the insatiable, greedy rats they are. That is to say that the next time any of you are certain that she is testing you to see if you have money, she's obviously playing a game with you. Play her right back. Let her think that you're successful. Let her think that you've got some lucrative position like webmaster or database administrator. See how many realistic lies about you that she will swallow. Then, when the time is right, expose her in a creative way. Then laugh in her face. They play so many mind-games, why can't you?

The Best Advice I've Ever Taken:

Sometimes, women will offer to help pay for the check on the first date... that way, they won't feel like they'll be obliged to do something for you later on. It's very nice when a woman does this, but on many occasions women don't do this. Sometimes, they'll go-off to the bathroom while you whip-out your cash.

Here's some iron-clad dating advice that works for me: if you go-out with a woman on a first-date, pick-up the check and say: "I'll pick-up the check this time. But I want you to know: I believe in equality for women... therefore, I think you should get the check next time."

If she's a fair woman, she'll laugh and agree. But if she acts slightly shocked and she doesn't ever date you again, now you'll know why. This will weed-out the sexist ones who think you should pay for the privilege of their company. Sure, she won't date you after then... but who wants to date a whore? It's traditional for the male to pick-up the check on the first date, but you should make it clear that you're not going to let her exploit you on every date thereafter.

See? You can play their game, too.

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"Ok boys, i do not know why i am doing this but i am tired of meeting assholes. i am 5'4, 110lbs, with green eyes and brown hair. i love to party and hang out with my friends. i like bad boys..." -- Yahoo Personals Ad.

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