A Reader Replies

I got an email from a rather sincere reader, what I hope will be the first of many. Here's what I would like: more readers to send-in their stories for me to post them. That will increase the variety of viewpoints and enrich the site's content. So, I encourage you to write-in with your experiences.

Let's call this contributor "Triple C". My comments are in white.

Triple C writes:

I'm also a niceguy, such as the creator of this website. I'm only 16 years of age, much younger then NiceGuy on this site, but just like him, i'm not your greatest looking guy in the universe. But i'm not exactly ugly either, perhaps we'll just consider it a bit around the average area. I consider myself a bit higher in the brains department then most people, or as the "cool" people determine nowadays, i could be considered a "nerd". I'm into computers, and technical stuff like that, and i like to write the poems and sweet stuff for the occasional and rare girlfriend that i might have.

Mr.NiceGuy best said it when "When they realize that their beauty has faded and their bodies are starting to go a little soft around the middle- THAT is when they'll seek-out someone who'll look beyond their bodies and beyond their faces." (That would be Cuckoos and Single Moms -- NG.) YUP. To all the girls that ever said i was ugly or threw my affection away, and because of my looks too- you'll one day realize that you are with the handsomest man alive but you are not in love. You're just going out with him for the times in bed. Then you'll realize niceguys like me are hard to find, and no one is more considerate about you as i am. Let's give an example shall we?

The first girlfriend (and pretty much ONLY girlfriend) i ever had was a godsend. Beautiful and smart, funny, and a totally awesome person to hang around. She meant everything to me, but i dunno, i let the the asshole (jerk) get to my head, and then i started to complain she never showed her affection to me and such and such, and that pretty much ended the 3 month relationship right there. (No, no, no! No, he wasn't being a jerk. He was indicating that his needs weren't being met. He was being honest. She ignored his emotions, plain and simple. If she dumped him for saying this, it means that she didn't give a flying crap about him, and he's better-off without her. -- NG)

After many days and weeks and months of thinking to this day, i still miss her a lot and constantly kick myself in the ass for doing that. But sometimes i do realize, she never really did care for me. She only said I love you before i did ONCE (proving she never did love me and lied to me), and of all the letters i wrote to her (whenever i had spare time, whenever i was missing her etc.), i only got one for the very first day we were going out, One for the time she truly did love me once, and one for Valentine's day. I wrote her countless poems, no matter how crappy they were just to show i did care. She never really found time to even call me to say hi, write me a letter and hide in my locker to be found, never even wrote a crappy rhyme or something special just to make me feel like the happiest guy alive just like the way i did things for her, sure she was a busy gal, and i was a half busy guy, but even when there were exams, i still found time to call her and ask her how she was doing, when she was sick, whenever times were getting lonely without her. Yet when i was sick, she'd never call and everytime i mentioned doing something just the 2 of us she'd tell me she was busy. (Let me guess, she was 'washing her hair' that night? Liar. -- NG) When times came around that i had to go home early, (we had different period lunches)  i would leave a trail of "i love you always forever notes" trailing all over her locker. She never even asked for my locker combo or tried to do anything to show how much of her affection she "said" she had for me. (Well, I can suggest one problem- he showed perhaps a little too much affection. I know this, because one time I made the same mistake- I showed her way to much affection and it made her uncomfortable. She ended-up distancing herself from me; I know better today. Now, if I've learned one thing- women seem to more actively pursue guys who withhold affection. That means the woman has to work harder for it... they just do not find it attractive when a guy shows affection. Next time, he should make her earn his affection. -- NG)

Sure i wasn't the best looking guy or hulkster on the planet, but i know she went out with me for me, cuz i was funny and stuff, but i guess she figured she couldnt' be afffectionate with me and didn't know how to call it off. I could say that we were the odd couple there, but i can safely say i was the most romantic and caring guy of all the couples in our grades. (I can see that.. a lot of high school guys are a bunch of brawling, immature goons who can barely add 2 digits. -- NG) Now that we're apart, i've heard she is lonely, (i've heard from people) and that she misses the things i did to make her feel special because no one ever bothered to do it. (She appreciates it now that she doesn't get it. You'd better believe that she'll bend-over backwards to get her next guy to write poems for her. If her next boyfriend is the macho-guy type, he wouldn't write poetry for X number of blow-jobs. Count on it. -- NG) Sometimes i ask myself why would that girl go out with that jerk, and stuff like that. Love isn't what it used to be anymore, love consists of sex and looks now, where are morals?

Some couples wanna go to a party and have fun and then have sex or something right? and then there's me, that wouldn't mind going to a party and having sex, but would rather be alone with the girl of his dreams lying in a field watching the stars or something. I mean if the girl doesn't wanna do it, find something else you both can do, it's not very hard, all you have to do is not be a jerk and be considerate of the girl and then you can have a thriving relationship without all the forcing and abuse and all. (I used to believe that, too. Then, I found-out it was all horse-feathers and humbug. Boy was I hoodwinked! -- NG)

I don't know, love seems pretty bleak for me, what's worse then shy and clumsy? I don't make very good first impressions. Is it because i'm soft hearted?, that i like animals, that i'm a sensitive guy? What is it, that i can't seem to even get a girl to notice me. They've all heard and seen of my romantic doings but nobody jumps to their feet because i'm not enough of an asshole to them or No no no.. It's the looks isn't it? Just because i'm not the frickin hulkster and just because i don't look like freaking Ben Afflieck you can't take me into consideration. I would actually care but i guess that just isn't good enough , i guess i need the asshole image to be noticed. And what you guys are gonna tell me i'm conceited, only think of myself and think i'm the best? Well i bet you 20$, Canadian that is, (I thought they used beaver-pelts in Canada? *Grin* -- NG) That if i was a hot guy with the coldest heart, i would still have a girlfriend at my school. (Yeah, he's probably right. In high school, it's all a popularity contest. -- NG) I just think i'm a real niceguy, that just isn't really noticed because, you know he's not some poster child, and doesn't play on the rugby team. Give me a break , i'm not even in the same line to compete with those guys over women. They have the pick of women, while the guys that deserve a break, or a chance, don't even get one thrown their way.

For those nice guys that need a song to listen to, i recommend you pick up the new 3 doors down CD, and listen to Be Like That I feel like every word in that song is a part of me, (just listen to the song).

Just my 'Final Thought'... this sounds typical of a lot of high school relationships. The behavior of Triple C's girl- I chalk it up to maturity. The guy had feelings for her and he was obviously more mature than she was. She didn't want the gift, she only wanted the wrapping. She didn't want the substance, she wanted the shadow. It wasn't enough that a guy was bending-over backwards to try to make her happy- this chick obviously couldn't stand it when something good is going her way. If she's lonely, I say let her stew in her own juice. He should write this girl a letter... it should say "I hear you're lonely... I used to write poetry for you. I used to write love letters for you. I cared about your happiness. Think about this the next time you're alone: you decided to throw-away a guy who did those things for you. Great choice, honey. I give you odds of 10 to 1 that your next boyfriend won't do those things no matter how much you put out! Best of fucking luck!"

Well, maybe that's a bit less mature and a bit more crass than I normally like to be.

I can't write poetry, I wish I could. Women always say that they want someone who will bring them flowers, write them poetry and just be a romantic sweetheart. What do I call that claim? It's tripe. It's pig-offal. It's utter malarkey, plain and simple. It's what they say but what they mean is that they want someone who will look good on their arm and make them more popular.

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"Why is the raven black? Some writers lead us to believe that it was once white. She has changed her appearance as a sign of her fault, because she was a gossip, a slanderer, and a nag. If only our wives were now similarly metamorphosed by divine miracle and shed their nasty habits." -- Mathieu of Boulogne, Liber lamentationum Matheoluli.

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