Phil's 3-week Girlfriend.

One of my very best friends, Phil, is another NiceGuy. I've known him for 11 years and we are like peas and carrots. He's a true NiceGuy. He treats people with respect. He's brilliant. He's hard-working. I've never known him to lose his temper. He doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't steal. Whenever I watch a movie with him, we always have a helluva good time. Phil is the salt of the earth, and I saw it 11 years ago. He hasn't changed a bit.

He's never really had a girlfriend, either. Part of it is because he's too shy to talk to women. Part of it is because he looks a little geeky, like me... actually, no- he looks like a mad scientist! That's one of the things so cool about him in my opinion. And part of it is because... well, because he's a freaking NiceGuy. Enuff' said.

He's also a virgin. He told me that early-on, he was a virgin by choice. He wanted to save himself for someone special. But nowadays... nowadays he says he's a virgin simply because no women will do it with him.

Recently, Phil and I had a phone conversation (he works in a different state, so I don't get to see him often). "I didn't tell you, NiceGuy- now I have a girlfriend! Sorta."

I was very happy for him. I know that he'd treat her very well. Phil even emailed me a picture of "Jenny" Well, she was okay-looking... Maybe a solid 6.5 on a scale of 1 to 10. A little pudgy. But, I'm sure if Phil likes her, then she must be cool.

Not so.

About 3 weeks later, I talk to Phil on the phone again. He sounds depressed, and I ask why.

He sighs. "Jenny's ex-boyfriend came back to town to visit her three days ago. Um.. she wasn't comfortable with the idea of me being there."

"Why was that? She embarrassed to be around you?"

"Well, the awkwardness mainly. That, and her ex said something about beating me up. He still thinks that he has dominion over Jenny. Jenny just suggested that I should be out of sight while he's in town."

What crappy treatment to get from your girlfriend! "Sorry, Phil... my ex might try to hit you so you should lay-low while I'm hanging-out with him this weekend." Oh, greaaaaaaat. If she was any kind of decent woman, she'd tell her ex not to bring his ass to town if he can't show a little maturity.

I shake my head and sigh. "Phil, you work with a lot of surgical tools! Seriously, if he came after you, you could just whip-out a scalpel and slit his face-open." I give my best eeeeeevil laugh for emphasis. "Muhuwahahahaha!"

Phil laughs back. "Well, I don't think he would really beat me up..."

"Ahh." I grin. "Just his macho posturing, eh?" He's such a real man. I bet he's got a cock a mile long if he can threaten to beat Phil up. I've never met this jerk and already, I don't like him.

Phil continues: "That's right. Anyways, so, I'm talking to the other med students about this. And apparently, some of them have met Jenny's ex-boyfriend, and they don't like him. I guess by bringing-up this topic, it caused them to spend the next half-hour bitching about Jenny's ex. Naturally, word of that got back to her and she wasn't pleased that I caused that sort of situation. I didn't mean to start people talking about her behind her back. Needless to say, she doesn't like me anymore."

Okay, "Jenny" obviously likes men who have to threaten violence to prove that their dicks aren't too small. Phil isn't violent. That's Real Reason #1 she broke-up with him. I bet Jenny thinks it's 'cute' when a guy threatens another person with violence. Phil is a NiceGuy, ergo, he's boring as shit to her. As for her ex: people can spend an hour bitching about him, therefore he must be a big enough asshole to be considered dateable! No wonder she's so attached to him.

Real Reason #2, What does this show? Jenny cares more about other people's opinions of her ex-boyfriend than about Phil. Shallow bitch. He's better-off without her.

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"Farewell! Thou art too dear for my possessing." -- William Shakespeare.

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