Jamie, The Number Six Woman

(Previous Story: Jeane and Jianglin, Four and Five.)

It's notable for me to say here that Sally, Tracy's friend, also asked me to have sex with her about two months after she married Marcus- she said thought I was sexy. In fact, she'd taken-off some of her clothes in front of me. Naturally, I politely said no because Marcus is a nice guy and because it would've been just wrong for me to do that. So, she could've been easily been Number Six had I acquiesced... but no, that distinction falls to Jamie.

At the Bar

I'm out with my cousin. We drive to a college-town about 45 minutes south of where I live... actually, I don't like this town. It's the metaphorical armpit of my state. Nonetheless, he's nice-enough to take me there.

"Maybe you'll get laid?" He smirks.

Ugh. Filthy filthy man. I feel like I'm starting to get scummier, just by being around him. But still, I kind of need to get away from the hectic pace of grad school, and a bar is a good place to unwind. None of my other friends were available to go-out, so if I want to go out with anyone at all, it has to be him. It's early November, and it's unseasonably cold outside. (Mi-Jun, if you recall, has recently paid me back the $600 I loaned her. Just to give you some idea of how the time-space continuum corresponds to these fragmented series of stories...)

We're in the bar, it's not a particularly nice one. Actually, it's a fairly grotty-looking place, but there are plenty of college students there. We booze it up. His posse arrives, and all have a few drinks. The music is blaringly loud, mostly modern dance stuff. Oh, and two of my Cousin's female friends walk-in. They're a little skanky, but they have pretty faces hidden beneath their trowel-full of makeup. Naturally, they spend much of the night talking to him, and I'm starting to get jealous.

Lost in a Swirling Millieu

The place is starting to get packed. I get separated from my cousin's posse, for I don't know how long. I've had a bit to drink and you always seem to lose track of time when you're snockered.

At the bar, I see the back of a young woman. I look left and right: doesn't seem to be anyone with her. Hmm, maybe I'll see if she is indeed alone? I walk-up and tap on her shoulder.

"Hi there." I say. She turns-around. She's wearing a white sweater, jeans and glasses. She has long, brown hair. She was a 6.5. Hmm... no, maybe a 6. Higher than average, but not much. Maybe she had a good personality? Well, I was feeling very lonely.

"Hi?" She cocked her head in an odd way. Hmm, maybe she's had a bit to drink too?

"How are you? I'm NiceGuy."

"I'm Jamie."

"You go to college here?" I asked.

"That's right. Elementary ed major."

"Well I go to the grad program at University X."

"Oh, you're about an hour from there. Long way, no?"

"Well, I'm here with my cousin. In fact, I lost track of him."

No matter, we chat for a few minutes; the music is loud, but I slowly learn more about her. She's a freshman (an underage woman in a bar; what a surprise!) I wonder where my cousin is? I haven't seen him in a while. We chat for maybe a good 20 minutes or so.

Sure enough, he and his posse have vanished. I glance out the front window. No, it looks like they're standing-out there in the snow. Are they waiting for me? I should probably leave; pity I'll be leaving this woman behind. I decide to finish-up and make a big exit.

"I should probably go... I should warn you: I only date really smart women." I say. Her face registers a look of pleasant surprise.

"I love you!" She gushes. Uh... am I to understand that she doesn't hear guys say that often? She grabbed my wrists. "I was in the top five percent of my graduating class!"

"My cousin is waiting outside in the cold. I can see he's looking impatient... wanna come with?" I ask.

"Sure!" We grab our coats and we head-out. This could get interesting. I'm wearing my Finnish army-surplus winter coat. Wool. Thick-as-hell. I think it looks very cool.

I meet my cousin in the parking lot.

"Jeez, dude, I thought you saw us get thrown-out? They wouldn't let me in to come get you. Who's she?" He asks.

"Uh, no I didn't see you get thrown-out. This is Jamie." Jamie waves. Apparently, they were thrown-out for fighting; with all the loud music, I didn't even see the commotion. Ugh, these guys belonged in the primate house. What am I, a zookeeper?

Driving Home

My cousin is driving; gee, I hope he's sober. Jamie is sitting next to me in the back-seat, while one of my cousins' female friends sits in the front. I have my arm around Jamie and we're sitting very close to keep warm. Every now and then, I kiss her on her neck. She returns the favor. I'm feeling an emotional high wash-over me; I have a girl almost in my lap. Gee, this feels nice.

We get to my cousin's place (actually, he lives in the loft over his mom's house). We stamp the snow off our boots... Jamie whispers in my ear.

"Is there somewhere else we can go? You know... somewhere private?" My apartment is about 40 minutes way. Quite a long drive... but, I think I prefer her idea.

"Sure, like to come back to my place? It's up near University X." She nods.

We go-out into my car; I have a blanket in the back seat, and I drape it over her because I can see she's cold. It takes a while for my car to heat-up and we're on the highway. She leans-over and puts her head on my shoulder. She puts her hand on my knee and slides it up towards my upper, inner thigh.

"Can you drive well?" She asks.

"Definitely." I smile.

She starts fondling me as I drive. Oooh, ahhh, this is... good God, gulp... a new experience. It's quite a challenge to stay on the road, but I manage to get us home safely.

40 Minutes Later...

I arrive at my place, we stumble-in. We kiss and grope each other as we take our clothes-off. I'm thrilled out of my wits: wow, I've done the impossible! I've picked-up a woman in a bar! This is what normal guys do, right? Am I starting to turn normal?

We get nekkid and dart under the sheets.

Next Morning

I'm on the highway, driving her home. Er, back to her dormitory, that is. She has her head on my shoulder, again.

After a 40 minute drive, I drop her off and I give her a goodbye kiss. She gives me her number.

"I'll call you, okay?" I say. Women always complain that men don't call, well, I'll call her for sure.

"Sure." She waves. I watch her walk-back to her dorm. I smile at her butt. She seemed nice. I sigh. Sure, she wasn't the most gorgeous woman in the world, but I think she seemed sweet and smart. It would be an inconvenient drive for me to come see her, but I'd like to see her again.

Two days later...

I dial her number. It rings. A female voice answers.

"Hi, is Jamie there?"

"No, this is her roomate, who is this?"

"Oh, my name is NiceGuy... I promised I'd call. Do you know when she'll be back?"

"I'll go get her..." I wait a few minutes.

"Hello?" It was Jamie.

"Hi, this is NiceGuy... I promised I'd call, and I wanted to see how you were doing."

"Oh, I'm okay. A bit busy will homework and all that."

"Oh, I know how it can be. Hey, I wanted to ask: would you like to meet-up some time? I can drive down there and take you to dinner this weekend, if you'd like."

"Well..." She sounded oddly uncomfortable. "Um... I don't know how to tell you this. There's this other guy that I'm seeing..."

"Other guy?" I'm more than a little... uh... stunned.... yeah, that's it. Stunned.

"Yes." She sounded a little ashamed. "Um... I've been interested in him for a while now..."

Inwardly, I groan.

"Do you not want me to bother you again?"

"Um, can we just be friends?" Okay, that's it. I say goodbye as quickly and as politely as the opportunity allows and hang-up. She's really interested in some guy at college, so she has a one-night stand with a total stranger? This sucks. Women suck. Why the hell do I bother? I'm wasting my goodwill on these bitches! I'm casting pearls before swine! I'd like to have a nice relationship, and she totally flaked-out on me! Not only did she flake-out on me, but she flaked-out on the guy she was ostensibly interested in! (Provided he actually exists, of course...)

By now, dear reader, you're starting to understand why I feel the way I do. I think I'm going to reconsider the validity of the idea of meeting a woman in a bar from this point forward.

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Sure as hell, that wasn't heaven; off you go to Number Seven...

"It is both masturbatory and obscene, and yet I am drawn to it like a moth to flame... I think I like it." - Mike Meyers, Sprockets, "Saturday Night Live"

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