Exhibit C: Every Woman who Rejected me in High School

This article is clipped from an August 2001 issue of Time Magazine- it confirms what I already long knew. "Do Kids have Too Much Power?" By Nancy Gibbs.

"Here is a parenting parable for our age. Carla Wagner, 17, of Coral Gables, Fla., spent the afternoon drinking the tequila she charged on her American Express Gold Card before speeding off in her high-performance Audi A4. She was dialing her cell phone when she ran over Helen Marie Witty, a 16-year-old honor student who was out Rollerblading. Charged with drunken driving and manslaughter, Carla was given a trial date — at which point her parents asked the judge whether it would be O.K. if Carla went ahead and spent the summer in Paris, as she usually does.

That settled it, as far as Mark Marion and Diane Sanchez, also of Coral Gables, were concerned. Their daughter Ariana, then 17, knew Carla, who was described in the local papers as the "poster child for spoiled teens." Ariana too had wanted a sports car for her 16th birthday, not an unreasonable expectation for a girl with a $2,000 Cartier watch whose bedroom had just had a $10,000 makeover...

Maybe Ariana would just have to wait for a car, they decided, wait until she had finished school and earned good grades and done volunteer work at the hospital... "For my parents' generation, to even have a car when you were a teenager was a big deal. Today, if it's not a Mercedes, it's not special." She pauses. "I think," she observes, "we lost the antimaterialistic philosophy they had ... But then, it seems, so did they." "

When I read this article, I immediately thought of my high school. In a microcosm, this suburban tale of tragedy represented the kids in my high school to a TEE. And if you don't believe me- consider this: I don't know how to exaggerate.

(Oh, as an aside note: no wonder all the 18 and 19 year old girls I talk to are so fucking stuck-up! The aforementioned poignant morality play also underscores another contention that I have long believed- that young women today don't expect to be held accountable for anything. With parents like that, I can see why- drunkenly run-over a pedestrian and they plead to save her vacation to Paris?! My parents would disown me!)

But back to the main thrust of this rant...

My high school was a rich, (mostly) lily-white preppy paradise. In fact, the school's crest had a loaf of Wonderbread on it. *ba-doom-BOOM!* The kids there were so spoiled, they started to sprout larvae. *ba-doom-BOOM!* I might go so far as to say that my school had an insect problem- it was infested with WASPs. *ba-doom-BOOM!* Okay, enough with the bad one-liners. Hell, I should talk- I'm as white as a fish-belly.

High school is important when you're an adolescent. You're starting to learn how to be an adult, and you're preparing yourself for immersion in college or the job market. And, it also lays the foundations of socialization and how to act in the real world. Anyways, my high-school taught me just how catty, shallow and materialistic women could be. The women I went to school with disgusted me- almost every last one of them. They were so ugly on the inside that it burned-through whatever make-up and clothes they had on the outside. The little princesses positively oozed bitchiness from every pore, every orifice.

Here's an example:

One day, senior year, the guys and girls split-up into 2 groups. This was part of a special one-day seminar we all had to take about adjusting to college. (it was assumed that we were all going to college.. over 98% of my school does.) Some facilitators from outside my school were brought-in to lead a few discussion groups. One of these groups discussed issues about sex in college. The girls' group discussed 'girls' sex issues, and the guy's group discussed 'guys' sex issues. The discussion facilitators for the male group talked to us mainly about responsibility and safety and respect- what I think are important issues regarding sex. My friend Phil was in my group. He's very shy, but the facilitator (by some odd luck) chose him to have the responsibility for writing all the stuff on the board. He was really embarrassed, and I think that's really what he remembers the most from this experience... but if you ask him about what happened next, he does remember this quite clearly.

Anyways, after about 45 minutes, both groups were done. The girls dutifully filed back into the classroom. We started to discuss what we talked about in our segregated rooms- one of the questions the girls had to discuss in their room was "Why would I want to have sex with someone?" The answers were not encouraging.

The 5 or 6 answers included things like "I think he's cool", "He's hot" and "Because I want him to like me." They did not say ONE thing about LOVE! The word 'Love' was NEVER brought-up! I was appalled. I wanted to gag. These empty tarts have totally separated sex from love! I mean, think of it! A ROOM full of girls is asked "Why would you want to have sex with someone?" and not ONE of them says 'Love'! That's quite a notable omission in my book!

Ugh, the air in that school smelt a little more toxic from that day forward. I was surrounded by empty, vacuous harlots. By consensus, they UNANIMOUSLY decided to separate love and sex. Woe and pity to the fools who hook-up with these loathsome, contemptful cunts!

So, doesn't that imply a contradiction to the title of this essay? "Why would I care if they rejected me, if they're so awful?"

Very true, but regardless- I still wanted to at least have a girlfriend, perhaps from among the 1 or 2 female students who were nice. But it didn't happen. I was lonely. I wanted a woman I could share affection with. I have a very loving heart, and frankly it pains me when my love gets unrequited.

Then, I began to think that my female classmates were intentionally, deliberately withholding affection from me. I know that sounds nuts, but that's really how I felt!

But now I know that wasn't true, I know they weren't intentionally trying to hurt my feelings by not associating with me. The real reason for that was that I wasn't popular enough to justify spending their time to talk with me. I just didn't fit-in. The whole social-order was a faction-ridden popularity contest and, quite frankly, I didn't give a damn about their clique-politics!

"Gee, NiceGuy, you're a good person- but the social power-hierarchy is pressuring me to not give you the time of day."

I just wanted affection. That's what I wanted when I was in high school. When you're on the outside, looking-in at everyone... that's when you really feel lonely. In all of my photographs from high school, not ONE of them shows me smiling. I still hurt today because of it. I still carry that pain around with me- I'm convinced that I'll be scarred for life.

If just one girl in my high school had reached-out to me, I would've been a far happier teen.

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"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself." -- Emo Philips.

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