One contributor, Grier, has written me a long submission that makes for a good read. I invite you to read-along with me...

Grier writes:

Hey, I tell ya, I have to agree with the whole Valentine's day bit, however, I still have some faith in women I guess (don't hit me). So let me suggest this, all those guys "enjoying" themselves out there on ole' V'day, those guys bowing and scraping to make their women happy... they're all totaly whipped aren't they? They're doing all this due to the stranglehold the women have on their balls. I stopped caring about V'day back in 3rd grade, that's right, 3rd grade.

Let me give you a little bit of a history, I mean, I don't want to whine about me me me... but that's what I gather your site is about, exchanging stories. Am I right? Seems to be a good idea to me.

Well, for the now, I'm single, I'm unemployed due to a town with failing economy and I'm being more or less kicked out of my folks house. Appearance-wise, I'm big, about 6'6" or so, 250 or so pounds, much like your Brazilian friend, women tell me I'm of above average looks (why won't you date me then?). My life right now consists of sitting on my already well sat on ass and being a starving artist (little art projects here and there, don't try to sell them, just do them for my own personal pleasures, and playing my guitar.).

My past is still somewhat blury to me in places, I only remember bits and I honestly think I have several mental blocks covering up some of the more horrible happenings of my youth.

My earliest memory is actually back about the age of 2 or 3, my mom let my new puppy sleep in my crib with me, she came in and woke me up taking it out sometime in the middle of the night. I didn't understand what was going on, just that I was somewhat warm and somewhat damp. I know now that the puppy wet the bed, but I was confused back then.

Now then... don't know where that popped up, but hey? (Hah, he's nothing if not honest! -- NG) Onto why I lost all faith in V'day.

In your gradeschool years, Valentines day is the day of crushes and cards, candy and kool-aid. The teacher handed out a homework assignment much to the like of Tyler Durden in Fight Club. You will take this list of students, you're going to take the list, and you're going to give a card to everyone on it. Simple enough right? I still, to this day, wonder how in the hell I managed to get forgoten by 90% of the class every year. I mean, at one point, here's this little 7 year-old who's already beginning to think people suck entirly, but moreover, women suck because they didn't give me one single goddamn little paper V'day card thing. Did they run out of cards in that box? Did they forget mine at home? Or did they just hate me? I opt the latter, personally.

I did get the occasional card, from friends... the ninja turtle cards that had sayings on it like "you're rad" or "I hope you have a tubular Valentines day, dude!" Not that I ever believed these four or five cards I did recieve being that at the age of 8 I had already decided God hated me... some life I led back then :P .

But the reason in all this garbled confusion I call an email, that I stopped caring about V'day, was the fact that through my five years of school (including preschool) I had recieved maybe a grand total of 20 V'day cards from my so-called "friends".

This may not seem like much, "you were 8 or 9 in 3rd grade, what difference could it have made?" Well, the difference it made was I addapted my "you treat me like shit, I treat you like shit" attitude I got from people in general's "I scratch your back, you stick a knife in mine" 'tude.

Thinking back on it... that's a very sad age to lose hope in the simple good of the human heart. But I was shown that it doesn't truly exist in the average, mortal man.

So, I lost hope that women could actually be nice to me on V'day, and that was just a point proven throughout the rest of my school years, I don't know about middle school... grades 6-8 are almost a total blank to me. Just little snippets here and there. I beleive that stemmed from the fact that in 5th grade, on that last day of elementry, my "friends" took me aside and told me, "Matt, we just keep you around 'cause we like to laugh at you, we don't actually like you." Hmmm, kids can be so cruel can't they?

Well, high school did wind around, and I addapted an outlook something like "oh boy! it's high school! it's a whole new chance isn't it? I can maybe be popular, maybe girls will like meeeee!" However, the problem here was that during middle school, I went to an entirly different school than ALL of my "friends", there was actually a couple good friends by then, one with whom I stay friends untill junior year when he became a stoner and just kinda faded away. And Marty, my best friend at this point in life, who was one of the people who didn't turn on me back in elementry, I've known him since 3rd grade and I can't think of a single time he's pissed me off ever.

Well then, in high school, I learned that if you aren't an asshole, people don't like you.
In high school, I learned that jocks get all the girls.
In high school, I learned that school work is busy work, just there to keep you out of the teacher's hair as they drank their triple latte's.

In high school, I gave up 100% on V'day, women, the whole dating scene.

Untill one day, junior year, after I had quit the "real high school" and switched to another school... I loved that place, the people were nice, the teachers were actually *gasp* cool. I'm still good friends with a couple of the teachers there, I drop by to say "hi" every chance I get.

That day, my best friend (at the time I hadn't rediscovered Marty, I remet him in the new school.) Pete's Ex girlfriend Alicia called me. I was nervous as hell but we talked for several hours. The next day, she called again... this was getting odd, but at least I was used to hearing her voice... and it comforted my tortured soul.

After two weeks of talking on the phone every night for several hours, she asked me to homecomming. I was shocked really... I had given up on actually finding a girl friend untill out of high school, or college or something, and here's this girl, asking me to the #2 dance of the year.

Of course, being the naive twit I was, I accepted.

What followed was a year long relationship that was entirly the stereotype of love. Everything I ate tasted better, the air smelled fresher and life was truly worth living because I had Alicia, and she liked me. It did cost me my friendship with Pete though... looking back, I'm not to terribly dissappointed... he was, how to say... dumb? Not to mention totally lacking in maturity, he wouldn't have known responsiblity if it had smacked him in the face with it's penis.

Soon, it escalated to love. And we told each other this... I'm 17, and a girl loves me. I'm 17, and I'm having a semi sexual relationship with a *girl*... no more V'day cards for Mr. hand.

However, all good things do come to an end. Alicia is a tease, she promises sexual desires to be fullfilled, then is shocked when you take her seriously. She tells you she wants to go here, but she's really dreaming of there. She won't tell me that she wants something, I have to take her subtle hints and get the RIGHT one, not the other one that costs $1.98 less, even though money was no object when it came to her... but soon, what I made from my meager allouance was not enough.

I needed a job.

I searched day and night, night and day. I looked everywhere. But no luck...

Finally, I got a job at a local burger joint through a friend. Not a bad place, I had fun there. And I made money to keep Alicia's insatiable appetite for all things her satiated.

Looking back, I don't know why I went through the trouble... Alicia was a nice girl, simply nice. Simple... and nice.... quite simply. Appearancewise, I'd say she was a solid 5 or so, average, but far from a street dog, if you hear (read) what I'm saying (typing). She was really nice too, she loved people and wanted to help them... that spiked my intrigue... someone who actually thought that human kind was worth helping out... someone who didn't think the whole crock was a steaming, vomitous mass of infectious human waste. And really, relationships do require love to live it out, but I beleive firmly that sex does play a vital role as well, and she starved me of that to a great extent, no sex till after high school. Fine by me, we were both minors, but we had our fun... almost everytime we got together, I'd finger her, she'd climax with a steamy orgasm the like of which she had not known. For she didn't know what an orgasm was untill then. She never seemed to think that a return was required, and I never really did myself... but still, we'd make out for as long as 2 hours and I'd have a raging hard-on the entire time while she climaxed as many as 5 times on a good night... ... I know that my experience was good in that respect, most men won't know a woman's orgasm untill their mid twenties when they find out pleasing their women is important too... but I did feel more than a little left out.

Not to say that was all that ruined the relationship.

She was greedy, in ways you would not belive. She hoarded money and possessions like they were going out of style. She'd collect change she'd find on the floor and she'd ask if she could have the change when I took her out to dinner. I didn't mind, I just found it kind of odd... kind of cute too, in an odd, purile, greedy child kind of way.

Dinner always had to be what she wanted, and she couldn't eat like a normal human being. You could gauge her mood by how heavily she would dismember her food. The more she ripped it into tiny little shreds before actually eating it (burgers, fish, sandwiches, even salad.), the more tense/nervous/angry/what-ever-negative-emotion/mood she was in. But the nice thing was, she would continualy assure me, she was actually able to eat in front of me, a feat she, appearently, found nearly impossible in front of anyone else. I even tried cooking for her a few times, but I always got the impression she had eaten before, never being able to eat more than a few nibbles.

After about 10 months, things started going downhill, so I started trying to spice things up. One night, I set up a night of romance and love. I got out my black light, I borrowed my friends disco light and rose insert, so as to create a nice dance-floor atomosphere with swirling boquets of multicolored roses flying about the walls, floor and ceiling, everything light in color would glow. I went through all my Cd's and made a mixed one on my computer of all the romantic slow songs I could find, on those Cd's I bought for the express reason of those songs just 'cause she liked them. I dressed up in my nicest pair of black kahkis, a black button up shirt and a romantic maroon silk tie... dinner was a nice seafood fettucine. Everything was perfect. I called her and asked her to come over for dinner a bit earlier, while I was perparing, "dress nice, can ya?" I asked her.

She showed up right on time at 7 O'clock sharp. She looked great in a dark blue dress with a pattern of light pink flowers, her hair was perfect (as usual, but when you're in love, everything's perfect isn't it?), and she had that light little bit of make up I liked so much (I always found too much make up a big turn off, I like women to look more natural.). We had a great dinner with low lights and wonderful conversation (not really, we talked about stupid teenager stuff, she was 17 and I was 18 at the time, what do you want?), then I brought her into my little romantic love nest I had created with the intent of cuddling for the most part, nothing much else, I just wanted a night of bonding really. I brought her in with a blind fold, spritzed gently with her favorite of my colognes, I start the music and hit the lights, I see a smile spread accrossed her face in the low lights, her teeth glow in the black light as everyone's usualy do. I take of the blind fold and she looks around at all the effects I had set up and she smiled even more broadly. I came up up and started dancing with her along with the music, slowly. By now, she's giggling uncontrollably in girly glee. The night goes great really, but what I had originaly planned to be a quite night curled up watching a movie turned into another make-out fest when she gives me that look and lunges into a hard kiss (you know the look I'm sure).

I had hoped all my efforts here would have gotten her to understand that I DO love her, as had been her recent obscession most of the time that I didn't actually care about her. But it didn't. It was just one night where things were generally like that used to be, before "I changed" (she changed, honestly, and changed me a bit... because I had to prostrate myself at her feet so often).

We went went through a few breakups, here and there. But soon enough I ended it in what could only be called "dumping" her. I was tired of it, that was all there was to it. I got the $300 TI-89 I loaned her for one of her classes. I told her that if she couldn't beleive I cared for her, then she needed time to grow up, not me, for I had done everything I could (about five or six other romantic set ups like the above mentioned one, including but not limited to, a pic-nic, a hike, a few dances and several other dinner and a movie attempts.), to show her I did care... but no... I just cared about sex sex sex... when she was the one who lunged over on top of me, hand going to my crotch and starting me in on her on more than 100 different occasions I'm sure.

We tried to stay friends, we'd still talk on the phone once in awhile, but soon enough, we started talking about our relationship in the past and what went wrong, and apparently, it was *all* my fault. One day, about a month after I broke up with her, she started going off on me on the phone again, and finally, I just pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at it. It was like in one of those cartoons when the cartoon character is getting bitched out by a female friend or what-have-you. They look at the phone that has all those symbols comming out of it and theres this high pitch mumble comming out of it. That's what it was like, she was a high pitch growl comming from the phone in a constant droll whine... I hung up.

She never called back, and the village did rejoice. ('Yay, yay.' -- NG)

Well, I was of course, depressed for awhile, then one day, I find out she's dating one of my friends, another Matt this time. I find this whole thing funny though because she used to talk about how much she hated him and how ugly he was and how mean he was and on and on about how horrible he was... maybe she just liked him. Or maybe she's just bisexual, that's become my theory.

He's fat, not to offend him directly, but he is. He honestly has bigger boobs than she does, and she's got a high C cup, scary huh? I figure she has to be bi... 'cause she wants a guy with a dick, and boobs. This little joke pulled me out of my depression REAL fast... plus the fact that the whore moved on from what she was calling "the love of her life" in less than two months... yep, I was important, evil bitch.

Well, I was at his house (I'm real good friends with his younger brother actually, Matt and I never really got on real well, we just worked together at that burger place.), and I saw one of the notes she had written him, looking around, I picked it up and read it. It was EXACTLY. THE SAME. THING. that she used to give me all the time... I had a shoebox (for my size 13 winter boots, so it's a big box) FULL of notes from her, I know what she writes in those notes, and what my "friend" had recieved, was exactly the same.

Although, I see it in that he's happy, I guess... you can see a confidence in his eye that he hasn't had in all the years I've known him.. and when she snubs him for the next Matt down the line. I guess he'll go with that new confidence. Same as I did.

I guess this has gone a little past just the story of why I lost my faith in V'day. But it also tells you about my own Lying P. Whorebag... I really do think that Alicia was cheating on me at the end... I could see all the signs, but I was in a daze, losing my love for her. So I didn't care. I was planning out how to dump her.

But then, there's still a chance in women I guess, they can't all be evil can they? (yes they can, but here's to hoping).

I've got a girl on my mind right now, and this valentines day, I'm going to see about talking to her a bit, maybe we can do something sometime. Why snub all women? (they're evil... eeeeeevil!) I'd still like to have a few more good nights of making out, and maybe even some sex :P.

But untill then, I'm just 19, I'm looking for work and a woman, and I'm moving out of my folks house this next week or two.

There's still hope in my life for a decent woman, and I'm sure there is in yours too. We just have to remember that women need some fixing themselves, in that they need to have an exorcism performed on them... or something to that effect...

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"Males are a breeding experiment run by females -- a proving ground from which females can cull winning genes." -- John Hartung

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