Last Readers' Feedback Before Japan

This is going to be the last bunch of Readers' Responses before I settle-in to my new apartment in Michinoshi.

Oh, someone sent me a few panels of the following cartoon. "Terror Widows" by artist Ted Rall, satirizes the money that relatives of the victims are to receive from the government and from charities- and the idea that a number of 9/11 widows suddenly became a little too-comfortable in the public spotlight of the talk-show circuit. Yes, I suppose the cartoon is a little tasteless...

Naturally, the cartoonist got upbraided and his drawings were yanked from the New York Times website when some angry messages were received from a number of different people. Never poke-fun at the widow of a martyr, for her behavior is always beyond reproach it seems.

On the same topic, someone sent me the following headline from ABC News: "FORT WORTH, Texas March 8 — A woman accused of hitting a homeless man with her car, driving home with him lodged in her broken windshield and ignoring his pleas as he bled to death in her garage is not the monster being portrayed by prosecutors, her attorney says... She was simply a frightened, emotionally distraught young woman who had an accident, panicked and made a wrong choice...
"He said the victim, Gregory Biggs, died a few hours after Mallard drove home and was in her garage no more than 24 hours. He said her friends advised her not to call for help and suggested dumping the body.
Biggs, whose body was found in a park on Oct. 27, suffered cuts and broken legs but had no internal injuries that would have caused his death, according to the medical examiner's office.
"There's a pretty good possibility he'd be alive if he'd gotten help, but she concealed the body in the garage... so that's why she's charged with murder," said Fort Worth police Lt. David Burgess...
Mallard later told investigators she apologized to the victim when she returned to the garage several times, but she never called for help as he moaned and pleaded with her, according to the affidavit..."

Imagine what the scene must've been like in her garage? This guy has a couple of slashed-up limbs thrust through her broken windshield and blood is dribbling all over the place. She's standing in the doorway with her arms crossed.

"For the love of GOD, lady! Please call an ambulance so I can stop BLEEDING all over the place! I've got glass splinters buried in my neck!"

"What a nuisance this is. You're not making matters any better for me by making so much noise... Just... can you please keep the screaming down to a dull roar? People live in this neighborhood and frankly, all the whimpering is inconsiderate. My friends and I are about to start brainstorming places to dump your corpse, so there's no sense in being a big baby over this..."

But in the meantime, go get yourself a baba-ghanoush or open a bottle of Mello-Yello and sit-back to see the latest bunch of reader feedback. They're always fun to read. And there are quite a bunch of them this time around...

Thessalonius (a guy) asks:

Hey NiceGuy, have you ever tried dating any black women? It seems like you haven't, based on what you've written.

My response:

Have I ever tried dating any black women? Yes and no. YES I've tried but whenever I've asked her on a date, she'd always say 'NO'.

One funny example: last October, I was at one of my brother's parties and there was this young woman there who I thought was absolutely stunning. She was slim, well-dressed, wore glasses and she was also black. I talked to her for a little bit, and I could tell that she was very intelligent and had what seemed to be a great personality. I was really impressed by her and I started thinking of asking her to lunch the next day but my brother probably read my mind. He casually mentioned to me later-on that she was a lesbian. Shrug. So, that would've been one more rejection to add to the pile. Heh, and if I had asked her out and she replied with 'no, I'm a lesbian', I'd be wondering afterwards if that was just a ploy to get me out of her face or if she was really a lesbian. Naturally, not all black women I've asked-out have been lesbians, but you get the picture of what my record has been like.

Heh, so I guess the best answer would be: yes, I've tried... but so far, most black women I've met haven't tried me. I really wouldn't mind dating a black woman if she's fun to be around, and I find a lot of them to be very attractive. I just wish I could've found one who'd actually let me go on one date with her. Thanks for writing. -- NG

RomanF (a guy) writes:

First off, I'd lke to say how awsome your site was and how well thought out and planned your ideas were on it. It really cleared things up for myself and some of my friends (the ones who would understand it anyway.)
I'm only 18, but throughout my existence on this planet I felt that I have had enough experience with women (of my own age mostly) to classify myself as somewhat of an expert. (Aren't we all? I mean, you of all people would realize that 18 years in ANY field makes ANYONE somewhat of an expert? My parents were divorced when I was young, I lived with my mother... But I guess you knew that! :) ) However, I never fully realized this until recently. I just got fed up with some of the crap I was taking from women. All throughout my life, I hd never been please with the way things went with them. There was something amiss; something fundamentally wrong. I couldn't place it. Your site, along with others, help me put it all into perspective. It all became clear, and I could see to the horizon. "The best books, Winston thought, were the ones that told you what you already knew" (Orwell, 1984) You have saved me years of torment on the the subject, and I can't thank you enough!

(Ahh, Orwell is one of my favorites. I don't consider myself to be an expert in anything, but thanks! -- NG)

Graham (A guy) writes:

Women are always saying that looks do not matter to them, and that they are attracted to the more "deeper" aspects of a person; men, on the other hand, are superficial and shallow, as they only care about a woman's physical beauty and nothing more. This is refuted by one simple fact:

The ugliest woman still gets laid.
The ugliest man does not.

I have learned quite a bit during my 37 years as a 'nice guy.' Your website indicates that you are 26 years old-- you are wise and perceptive for your age. Wait until you hit your late 30's.

(Wow. So simple, yet oddly accurate. Thanks for the compliment... I wrote him and asked him what happens when the 'late 30s' roll-around? --NG)

Graham offers this grim assessment:

If you're a nice guy, the same thing that happens to you when you are in your '20's. The preferences of women do not change when they leave their 20's and enter their 30's-- only instead of breaking up with their asshole boyfriends, they are divorcing their asshole husbands. The female infatuation with wealth, "bad boys," and/or insecure losers never ceases to be a source of fascination with me at this point. But don't ever, ever underestimate the power of good looks and their effect on women. Yes, power is an afrodisiac, and it stands as an exception to good looks (and money is power as well, but in a different form). What I am going to say is completely at odds with what every woman will tell you, and is somewhat revolutionary-- women are more preoccupied with looks than men are. It is a myth that men are more physical and are more drawn to physical beauty-- yes, we like an attractive woman, but most of us will admit it. We're talking primitive, primordial forces at work here-- unless you are a Bill Gates-type geek, a woman is subconsciously evaluating the physical aspects of a potential mate for the purposes of acquiring the best genes for their offspring. Yeah, human dysfunction and the female attraction for male flotsam clouds this general rule, but keep one thing in mind-- how come professional athletes have immediate, unlimited access to almost all women, and you and I don't? It ain't just the money (although that is a big part of it).

How do I know this? For four years I shared an apartment with a friend who I have known for 20 years. He is a physical specimen and astonishingly handsome. Women fell in love with him on sight. He routinely picked up gorgeous girls with minimal effort. Women would get into fights with each other over him. Ex-girlfriends stalked him. Women asked HIM out on dates. It was truly amazing. And it was all based primarily on looks. I have never seen men throw away their pride and behave in such a manner as the women who came under his spell. And, of course, he treated most of them like shit.
Yes, o grasshopper, the wisdom of the ages has enlightened you, and the great circle of the Earth mentors you. And if a woman turns you down for a date because she says she has a "boyfriend," it is almost ALWAYS a lie. (Whoa. I've already wasted half my 20s pursuing the folly of treating women nicely. This sort of testimony doesn't rekindle my flagging faith in the inherent decency of females. -- NG)

When I was your age, I always believed a woman when she turned me down with the old "I'm so sorry, but I have a boyfriend" line. In nearly all instances, however, she is politely telling you to scram. I would say that nearly half the time, she does not really have a boyfriend. The other half of the time she really does have a boyfriend, but her rejection of you should not be interpreted to mean that your proposition would have been accepted but for the boyfriend. What she is really saying is, "I have a boyfriend, and I am more interested in him than I am in you. So get lost."
If she found you more attractive, or if looking at you made her sexually aroused, she would immediately start trying to plan an expiditious way to ditch his sorry ass and hook yours. Always remember that boyfriend does not = husband. Yes, there are some exceptions, and a few women will remain loyal to their boyfriends even if Derek Jeter is hitting on them (alright, let's not get carried away here). But I contend that they are the exception, not the rule. And, yes, men do similar things-- the big difference is that we are far more honest about such shortcomings than women.
Alanis Morisette is the poster girl for the perpetuation of the false perceptions which persist concerning men and women. She is singing bloody murder because she got dumped by a professional hockey player???? (Heh, well she is Canadian. -- NG) Hell hath no fury like a woman spurned?? Yeah, because most women believe that they should be the ones doing the spurning. I could just imagine some NHL stud putting up with Alanis' annoying, neurotic blather about how her needs must always be considered. The very fact that she was obsessed with a professional athlete only underscores what I have been saying all along. It is indeed true: nothing arouses more contempt in a woman than an average, hard-working man who is truly nice and sincerely cares.

Never try to teach a pig how to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig. -- Mark Twain

(Wow. I... I'm totally bereft of anything to add. -- NG)

CoolJen, a girl, writes:

I havent had the opportunity to read through your whole site (think that may take awhile) but i totally agree with you and you have opened my eyes to some of the things that i also do (i dont feel i am on the far end of manipulation and being a sucky woman...i am a "nice girl"). Anyways, I just wanted to give you my support and i am very glad to have come across your site. Good luck with your site and with finding a nice girl....you deserve it!!! (Glad to hear that I might've made a positive difference! Thanks! -- NG)

Boba_Fett (a guy) writes:

I think they suck because most of them refuse to date any other guy unless it's "their" type. They stick to the same guy. "OHHH he's to be he surfer type or into clubs blah blah fuckign blah." They piss me off. Girls have turned me into a bitter bitter guy, being 23 I've learned at a young age to forget them. Being single is better than being with someone who wishes you were someone or something else. I'm going to join No Ma'am with Al Bundy!

(Hah! I always thought the concept of 'No Ma'am' was hilarious. Enjoying Married With Children was definitely one of those guilty pleasures. -- NG)

RamseyA (a guy) writes:

I was surfing the net one day while trying to deal with the wasteland my romantic life had become and stumbled onto your website. It was exactly what the doctor ordered. I thought that my level of pseudo-misogyny marked me as clinically insane but apparently not. That or we (guys who CAN see things for what they are) are in such a percecuted minority by the politically correct. I also say pseudo (although sometimes it does go over) misogyny becuase I do know some GOOD 'kick ass' chicks. They give me some hope.

I guess I should say something about myself. I am a 28 year old Filipino guy living in Montreal, Canada. I graduated with a BA in English Literature and have minors in Education, History and Religious Studies. I am not a whacko (unless it's football season), am smart, well adjusted (mostly) and all in all, normal (what the hell is normal anyway?). (I wish I knew. Heh, but who wants to be normal? -- NG) I plan to teach English as a second language in Japan some time in May (I don't exactly know where yet).

I am currently obsessed with 'chemistry'. The last girl I approached with romantic overtures, the one who laughed at all my jokes, was easy-going, bright (but not that bright, apparently), attractive, energetic, who I could chat with for hours on end said, 'Christian there's just no chemistry between us'. Enter 7 months of depression as I tried to 'just be friends'. I guess she had chemistry with that boy she was fucking for two years that told her that he just wanted to be friends with her and that he never found her physically or personality-wise attractive.

(Yeah, 'chemistry' is another example of female bullshit. 'Oh, it's chemistry which is to blame and certainly not my attraction to dysfunctional men!' -- NG)

RamseyA writes again, after some prompting from me...

The simple fact of the matter, I think, is physical attraction. If the man is physicaly attractive he can get away with murder. Have you seen the near hypnotic effect handsome men have on women? Their eyes go all glassy and they lean into the guy. Thus, the physically attractive man does NOT have to be substantive. Physical attractiveness totally trumps all the attributes of the 'nice guy'.

Since I am a Filipino guy attracted to white women (admittedly, I was raised on a steady diet of the unrealistic depictions of knock-out women in playboy and porn films), I also lose racially, to the tall, thin, white guy who is good looking. (Well, if it means anything, I think quite a few Filipina women are very attractive. -- NG) MY personal theory is that the taller and thinner a man is the more vacuous he is and therefore, the more attractive he is to women. The last rejection chimed in with a pseudo-racist comment when she said, 'I don't want interracial children'. (But then, why was she in bed with me kissing, wrestling and groping?) (Oh, that is so damn reprehensible... hasn't the dumb broad ever heard of birth control?? She deserves a boot-to-the-head. -- NG)

On courting and consummation: I propose that women have these incredibly unrealistic and rigid 'checkoff' lists that do NOT measure the man's true self. What it measures is the applicant's treachery (ability to play the game and court. EX: The ability to furrow his eyebrows in mock caring or drop the appropriate bon mot at the right time). I was disqualified off one list when, I: 1) Admitted to chewing gum, 2) Did not walk behind her as we walked down the street and 3) Was too 'manly' in bed as we play-wrestled. (WHAT?! Chewing gum?! Not walking at a respectable-enough distance behind her?! Give her a boot-to-the-head! -- NG) Concerning the third point, it seems not only do they propose a monopoly on the courting area but the bedroom as well. Of course, to her, the natural position in bed was HER on top of me, constantly. Of course, if I was treacherous, I would have not been my true good self and just masqueraded as one of her 'chemistry' boys.

To many women (and men who are overly concerned about it and yet unable to come to terms with it) penis size, like height, is very important. This lends itself to my first point on handsomeness. Thus, to revise, handsomeness and/or a huge cock trumps all of the attributes of nice guys. But to clarify, I am NOT saying that nice guys cannot be handsome and/or be well endowed. What I am saying is that 'chemistry' boys know how to apply their treachery to seperate themselves from nice guys who are handsome and/or well endowed. One of my friends has relapsed into his Cassanova ways (he is certainly an accredited lady-killer with many pelts) but in a way (despite him juggling 5 women at the moment who all pay HIS way and know nothing of the others), I am NOT very upset at him. HE is EXACTLY what THEY DESERVE. (May his use of them never end. They deserve each other. -- NG)

Have you ever seen an afternoon TV show called 'The Other Half'? (Nope. -- NG) It it hosted by Dick Clark, Danny Bonaduce (Good God. Now I'm glad I haven't seen it. -- NG) and some other young actor. What do you think of it, if you've seen it? It is supposed to be an exposition of women's world through the eyes of man. I think it is an insult to strong men everywhere with its effeminate babbling. Women have the mistaken impression that men are/should be cuddly sensitive teddybears who are just fountains of tolerance able to put up with all their inconsistancies. I detest that strain of thought. To me, a man is STRONG first and THEN can be sensitive. Sensitivity, tenderness and sweetness also, need not be the shwarmy, over done, oversentimentalized, Hallmark card-ed variety. A strong man may not be overly expressive of his own feminine side but can choose to express it in non ostentatious or overt ways. If treacherous chemistry boys (with their pseudo-sweetness) are an extreme to the nice guy I also think that teddy bears (who are nothing but sweetness) misrepresent men (although I am inclined favourably more toward the teddy bears than treachery-chemistry boys because they are genuine). (Watching they way men pursue and throw gifts at American women often reminds me of how the ancient Egyptians worshipped dung-eating bugs! -- NG)

Admittedly this is a rant and might not be appropriate between strangers. If you want me to desist in my observations please do not hesitate to politely say so. (No, no, you're fine... I mean, I've exposed my most embarrassing sexual moments to total strangers. -- NG)

PS-There is currently a movie playing in North America called Forty Days and Forty Night starring Josh Hartnett. (Yup, been there, done that. -- NG) The main character (Hartnett) abstains from all forms of sexual gratification (with or without partner) to purify himself and refocus his life (in this case to get over an ex as well as be able to love more fully a new woman). I like to constantly test my willpower and so have now, myself, abstained for 2 weeks (I AM single). I find what keeps me going is my anger at women and to prevent sex, the desire for their confused company, from making me forget the STRONG, self-sufficient man that I am and who they cannot see.

ErikTheRed (a guy) writes:

we all had our fair share of heartbreaks...lies, mind-games...being the free-therapist...we're getting tired...

then finally someone speaks out...thanks NiceGuy...we needed a guy like you --

sometimes i'm expected to read their minds -- to be able to please them every minute they are around me, to be there for them at anytime, but most of the time
i'm either inadequate, i was too blunt, i was too late, i figure the problem with most of the women i've come in contact with is their inability to be upfront with me.

they always beat around the bush...wait and bide their time until you screw up, forget, and even act in a way they find repulsive but you never knew they felt that way about it... most relationships suffer because we fail to talk...i want to talk, but they seem to be preoccupied with something else (Hah! How true! Men don't talk because women don't listen and would rather not hear what we have to say anyway. -- NG)

even with the issue of sex, where should i touch her? what should i do? what makes her feel good? yet she still fails to speak -- she still holds back as if she's afraid

miscommunication perhaps? -- this makes me feel that i'm not giving enough for her...then i'm building up an image in my head that it was only me who was doing the "giving" in this relationship, while i figure she was only a vagina to fuck -- but that's not the case, to me she's someone to be with...someone to talk to..someone to hold, someone to go home to, someone to wake up beside you, we find out that we get more frustrated with the things we make up in our heads than what's in front of us

we live in a society of double standards that's basically it, we say one ting, do another, we contradict ourselves, our movements have ulterior motives, you cannot be nice to a someone without them thinking "that there is a price attached to your kindness"...we try to put a value on everything, even love -- there's no trust at all

why won't women be upfront with us guys?...why? (Because they suck, primarily. I'm sure there have got to be other reasons, but I think that's the main one. -- NG)

enough of my bitching, all i can say is your site comes off somehat biased in way (in a feel-good sorta way, a way where your letting off steam...A LOT of steam)...many people could get your definition of "nice" sorta mixed up...you could make your definition of "nice" more clear and direct, as nice could mean many many things (True. It's kind of hard to define. Some women seem to define 'nice' as 'will give and give and give and ask for nothing in return.' Phooey! Being 'nice' seems to carry a very high price tag indeed. -- NG) -- but your approach to use your life experiences is great...i know a lot of my friends who could empathize with you, the situations you were in are not yours alone, the way you come off biased is when you attack...you could do better by informing us, but i'm not gonna tell you how to do your job (since your doing so damn well already) (Heh, of course I'm biased. I'm openly biased- I've already said flat-out that I think women suck. That's the title of the site. But I appreciate you giving me room to do this stuff the only way I know how. -- NG)

about that site heartless-bitches.com and their rebuttal to your statement -- i found their attack completely careless (a site that says heartless bitches? wow that adds a lot of validity to their statements...who the fuck am i hearing this from? why of course! a heartless BITCH!!! BITCH!!...that's degrading to women and themselves, what? we niceguys hate ourselves?, we love who we are, we are not losers, we are helplessly romantic, we have jobs, we have social lives, -- its just our mannerisms towards you come off as odd BECAUSE you feel we should treat you like shit and love you 5 minutes later, or we should wait you hand and foot (well maybe that's not the case but you get the point)... (No, a bitch just sees 'nice' as equivalent to weakness. Hitler and Stalin shared the same opinion, by the way. -- NG) well its good you call yourselves bitches because that's all they'll ever think themselves as, too good for you! -- we niceguys DO take action, rather than just say we're "nice"...actually all of our "action" has been repelled by your self-absorbed attitudes towards us...we are the guys who ask you out for coffee...we are the guys that give you the time of day, we shower you with white lies that its not your fault, that it will be ok, that you look nice in that ridiculous outfit and even fool outselves into thinking its amusing (sometimes we believe our own lies), we kindly walk you to your door, to lunch, to dinner, we bring you presents, we are the guys that write those poems because its straight from our heart...and thoughts and love is all we can give, we are humble -- we are very flawed characters in a tragedy in which we cannot die)

well your "preemptive strike" to them was very well done (Thanks! I thought I might as well take the striking initiative. -- NG) you should post that up separately so everyone could find it and examine it clearly...it will bring more validity to your statements. (And so, I did. -- NG)

good luck in japan...

(This was awesome to read! Thanks! -- NG)

Pandora, 'a girl', decided I needed some patronizing advice:

I stumbled across your site and haven't had the time to read it all, but I tought it'd be fun to write you, 'specially since you encouraged ppl to do so on your page ;)
(Well, I'd hope that she'd actually read more than three or four essays before writing. Just had to slip that in. -- NG) First I'd like to appologize for my English and my spelling, English is my second language and I haven't fully mastered it yet, 'specially since I don't get the chance to practice that much. + I'm kidna tired (and bored) so this email is probably not gonna make much sense! It's also probably gonna be like your site: "disorganized, random, stream-of consciousness stuff..." like you said it so well ;)
Well, I think neither NiceGuy nor EvilGuy have a future. (But, but- what about the whole dramatic 'vying for dominance'/'enemy within' shtick that I've set-up? There's plenty of scope there for continuation! I'll see to that. -- NG) Let's start with EvilGuy, women DON'T actually like jackass, and while some tend to always go out with those, most learn from their mistake and eventually choose better and nicer men. (Who is she trying to fool? -- NG) NiceGuy doesn't have a future either, because (unfortunaly) it is in the human nature to take advantage of others when it comes easy. I don't think it's specific of women to do that, guys do it also. When someone is TOO nice, others will take advantage. Of course I think it sucks, but it's reality and unless one plans to change the world they will have to live with it! (Behold: passivity incarnate! -- NG)
You seem like a smart guy (or at least you claim it), why not be in-between? Don't be an asshole but don't let others take advantage of you either! I don't think I got all the answers, (Gee, that would never occur to me. For someone who doesn't have all the answers, she sure gives an awful lot of 'handy' tips. -- NG) I'm actually not too good with relationships myself, but that would be my advice to you anyway. Be nice but not too nice, don't go to extremes, learn to see the shades of grey between the light and the total "darkness". I put darkness in quotation marks because I actually hate this word, guys who always talk about their "darkside" or the "Evil" inside them tend to get on my nerves. Some people have got to stop making a big fuss about everything that happens to them and being so melo-dramatic all the time, it's really annoying! Sorry, I'm kinda getting off-topic here... As I was reading your page I tought of some of the guys I know. You remind me of them I guess. And if there's one thing that bugs me it's that they complain all the time, about how their life is miserable, about their "darkside" and everything. Personnally, I don't think there's such a thing as a "dark" side, you're just you, and you make it whatever you want to make it. (Yeah. Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge just made whatever they wanted out of Cambodia and POOF! Over 1 million dead. Yup, obviously there's no such thing as a "dark" aspect to humanity. -- NG)
Anyway, still off-topic.. getting back to your page, I hate V-Day too, not as much that I would want to hand out black hearts with stupid messages on them, but I still hate it. Most people are miseralbe at Valentine's Day, that's why I think it sucks. X-mas and Thanksgiving are about nice stuff, giving and caring, or thanking or whatever (I don't celebrate thanksgiving). I think there's 5 kinda people on V-Day and most are unhappy.

1-The single person tries desperatly to get a date on that night so they don't feel so miserable, in most cases they either dont (and fall into the #3 category) or they spend an akward evening full of long silence and fak smiles.

2-The indifferent person who actually doesn't care that it's V-Day, that's actually very rare, although lots of people fake it...

3- The single person who spends the night alone kinda depressed, trying to forget that it's V-Day and that they are lonely.

4- The non-single person who spends a sad V-Day, whatever the reason (too high expectations not met, their loved one can't make it or forgot about it, etc.)

5- The happy one who spends a nice Valentine's Day with the one they love and who loves them back.

I usually fall into the #3 category, 'specially this V-Day I stayed home being miserable, I wasn't sad big-time but I still had this bad feeling inside, can't really explain it, but I was pretty lonely. Kinda pathetic huh? But it's my life and I accept it as such.

(No need for five categories. Howabout this: two categories. Those who hate V-Day and the irritating, slap-worthy jackanapes who enjoy it. -- NG)

I think you shouldn't lose faith in women, you're just being mean because you don't have what you want. (Christ on a cracker. *Holds head in hands.* She just doesn't get it. -- NG) Would you still be making your website if you had a nice girlfriend? Even if all other women on earth were bitches and stuff, if you had found the right one for you, you wouldn't care anymore about making that site, right?
I'm just extrapolling here but maybe it's just a cry for help? Hoping that some girl will read it and want to go out with you? (Wow, how does she see-through my plots so gosh-darn precisely? I'm all verklempt here. --NG) Or maybe in a less self-involve way you hope some girls will read it and be nicer to the guys in their area.

And here comes another "maybe", maybe you're not looking at the right-kinda-girl. Just like not all men are the same, not all women are the same either. There's tonz of girl looking for a nice guy, but nice guys tend to befriend girls who don't appreciate them at all. Maybe you just need to keep searching if you actually want to find the right one for you. And perhaps, not search the same area. (Sigh. And the 'helpful' advice just keeps coming. I'm starting to wish she'd go play hop-scotch on the nearest highway. -- NG)

I love japanese culture, I wish I could go live there as well, it'd be really nice (exept I don't speak japanese, I only know a few japanese words from watching anime). You seem to think all US girls are evil and to idolise Japanese girls, or girls from other culture or whatever. I think that's plain stupid! I'm sure there's some Japanese bitches, just as I'm sure there's some nice american girls.

So far, I hope you'll have noticed I haven't said anything bad about your website (Er, wait a tick... back-up to last paragraph. She said something about how 'stupid' it is that I 'idolise' Japanese women- wasn't that saying something bad about my website? Howabout the bit where she insinuates that I complain too much? Or where she suggests that this is all just a tortured 'cry for help'? Hmmph, she actually has said a few negatively critical things about my website so far... -- NG) (I'm a girl by the way). (I kind of guessed that by now. What with all the 'you must change to please us' advice she's been spouting. -- NG) I don't think you're entirely wrong, maybe exagerating a bit but not fully wrong that's for sure.
I'm not from the US so I can't talk about american girl, but I think it's pretty much the same everywhere.. women have found an advantage and are using it, after decades and centuries of oppression, can you blame them? I'm not really a full-feminist, but I do believe in equallity (how the heck does that spell?!) (Yes, I can tell she's not familiar with the term. -- NG) and that women should be respected and treated farely. Right now, I think the scale has fallen on the women side, and I know we're taking advantage of it. It's politically incorrect to disrespect women now, sexual agression has become an advantage that women can invoque (and they over-use it). But let's not forget that it used to be common that a boss would take advantage of it's secretary and she couldn't do anything or else she would be fired, and we're not taking so long ago.. Ok, so for once the scale is on our side, can't we appreciate it while it's there? (Okay, how many of you guys out there want to give her a good gob-smacking just about now? Wow, a lot of hands just shot-up. -- NG)

You seem to think all female american are brainless, my tought is most american are brainless period! From my few travels to your country that's what I noticed anyway. (No wonder aol is soo popular there...) (Yup, a regular Alexis de Tocqueville, she is. -- NG)

Well anyway, it's getting kinda late and you probably got bored and stopped reading this email a while ago so I'll end it here.
I bookmarked your page so I can go look at it when I got more time, if you ever feel like replying just do so, unless you're feeling 100% Evil and wanna be mean to me even tought I never did anything to you (nor to any men), in which case please abstain..

I sincerly wish you the best even if I don't know you, because I sympathize with your kind (the nice one that is).

(It's so wonderful to hear from an expert on where my true problems come-from. Why do I envision her congratulating herself after writing this? -- NG)

Ooooh, this is gonna be funnnnn... But at this point, I think I'm repeating many things I've already said in the past...

>I stumbled across your site and haven't had the time to read it all, but I tought it'd be fun to write you, 'specially since you encouraged ppl to do so on your page ;)

Well, I appreciate you taking the time to write. I also appreciate you not attempting to cajolingly list all the ways that my behavior makes me unattractive to women and how I should seek-out nice women only- hmm, wait a tick, that pretty much is EXACTLY what you did.
Although I appreciate your spirit of altruism to me (a poor, dumb, clueless, socially-inept male), I'm not interested in getting advice on how I can change myself yet *more* to better-appease a woman's already-unreasonable expectations of what the male half of the planet should be like. Indeed, one of my main points always has been that women aren't the least bit interested in accommodating the slightest of men's needs. Nay- the man must always be the one to make the effort to do anything in a relationship by default. One of the many reasons why I think women suck.

>First I'd like to appologize for my English and my spelling, English is my second language and I haven't fully mastered it yet, 'specially since I don't get the chance to practice that much. + I'm kidna tired (and bored) so this email is probably not gonna make much sense! It's also probably gonna be like your site:"disorganized, random, stream-of consciousness stuff..." like you said it so well ;)

Well, that's fine. And there's really no major problem with your English as far as I can see, and I'm courteous enough to never make an issue of people's spelling or people's English- especially if they're not native speakers.
My brother-in-law is the kind of person who sometimes makes fun of accented people who are hard to understand, however, and it irritates me greatly. But what he doesn't realize: whenever someone speaks with a foreign accent, it means that they know at least one more language than HE does.

>Well, I think neither NiceGuy nor EvilGuy have a future. Let's start with EvilGuy, women DON'T actually like jackass, and while some tend to always go out with those, most learn from their mistake and eventually choose better and nicer men.

Yes, but often they've popped-out 1 or 2 kids by then. In terms of human life, it's a rather costly lesson for those women to learn.

>NiceGuy doesn't have a future either, because (unfortunaly) it is in the human nature to take advantage of others when it comes easy. I don't think it's specific of women to do that, guys do it also.

Oh, spare me the hackneyed 'human-nature insight' please. I KNOW that guys do it also. Only difference is that individual women have tricked themselves into sincerely believing that they individually don't do it as part of their lifestyle.

>When someone is TOO nice, others will take advantage. Of course I think it sucks, but it's reality and unless one plans to change the world they will have to live with it!

No, it's not reasonable to change the world- and what you've just said betrays a passive attitude towards life. George Bernard Shaw once said that whereas reasonable men change their lives to suit the world, unreasonable men change the world. Therefore, all change for the better must come from unreasonable men.

>You seem like a smart guy (or at least you claim it), why not be in-between?

Yes, I'm good at CLAIMING to be smart.
You are basically trying to tell me how I should change. Why the hell can't women change a little and meet me halfway? I've changed a lot over the years, so it's only fair. But ohhh, I forgot- the western world necessarily orbits around women and their myriad selfish desires. Stuff the male, he's gotta change himself and orbit like everything else.

>Don't be an asshole but don't let others take advantage of you either! I don't think I got all the answers, I'm actually not too good with relationships myself, but that would be my advice to you anyway.

Here's a nifty idea: if you're not good with relationships, then don't give advice on the topic.

>Be nice but not too nice, don't go to extremes, learn to see the shades of grey between the light and the total "darkness". I put darkness in quotation marks because I actually hate this word, guys who always talk about their "darkside" or the "Evil" inside them tend to get on my nerves.

Heh, yes, the whole 'light vs. dark' duality is a little shop-worn. I don't really believe in the existence of evil, but I believe in using 'evil' as a purely descriptive term. I actually DO see the world as a shade of grey- the difference between 'good' and 'evil' or 'light' and 'dark' simply being how much consensus one can rally-about a given ethical point. But for the illustrative purposes required by my web-site, I think that fore-mentioned dichotomy will do just fine strictly as a literary device.
I was under the impression until now that my definition of 'nice' WAS a middle-ground of sorts. I'm certainly not Jesus, for crying out loud. I just try to adhere to generally agreed-upon principles of decency- pity that American women largely don't deserve it.

>Some people have got to stop making a big fuss about everything that happens to them and being so melo-dramatic all the time, it's really annoying!

Yeah, I'm a real drama-queen.

>Sorry, I'm kinda getting off-topic here... As I was reading your page I tought of some of the guys I know. You remind me of them I guess. And if there's one thing that bugs me it's that they complain all the time, about how their life is miserable, about their "darkside" and everything.

Hey, why not recommend to them that they drop-by the site? They might appreciate what I have to say.
I mostly complain only online. In real life, I just try to carry-on as any other human being would.
But I can see very clearly what you're saying: I'm a big complainer. Bitch bitch bitch is all I do. Gee, here I was thinking that I might actually have legitimate grievances. Thanks for putting me in my proper place with your 'stop whining and take it like a man' attitude. Maybe I should simply dismiss what you say by retorting 'get off the Internet and back in the kitchen, woman'? They're both equivalent statements based on the same sexist, 'proper place' principle.

>Personnally, I don't think there's such a thing as a "dark" side, you're just you, and you make it whatever you want to make it.

Exactly- there is no incentive for any man to not treat American women like shit. Women always tend to gravitate towards the men who'll treat them the crappiest- there's nothing you can possibly say to make me believe otherwise. Frankly, I would get a LOT more satisfaction from tying women to railroad tracks than from saving them. So, I AM making what I want to make of it.

>Anyway, still off-topic.. getting back to your page, I hate V-Day too, not as much that I would want to hand out black hearts with stupid messages on them, but I still hate it.

One day, you might yet hate it enough to hand-out black hearts. Don't knock it 'till you've tried it.

>Most people are miseralbe at Valentine's Day, that's why I think it sucks. X-mas and Thanksgiving are about nice stuff, giving and caring, or thanking or whatever (I don't celebrate thanksgiving). I think there's 5 kinda people on V-Day and most are unhappy.

>1-The single person tries desperatly to get a date on that night so they don't feel so miserable, in most cases they either dont (and fall into the #3 category) or they spend an akward evening full of long silence and fak smiles.

>2-The indifferent person who actually doesn't care that it's V-Day, that's actually very rare, although lots of people fake it...

>3- The single person who spends the night alone kinda depressed, trying to forget that it's V-Day and that they are lonely.

>4- The non-single person who spends a sad V-Day, whatever the reason (too high expectations not met, their loved one can't make it or forgot about it, etc.)

>5- The happy one who spends a nice Valentine's Day with the one they love and who loves them back.

>I usually fall into the #3 category, 'specially this V-Day I stayed home being miserable, I wasn't sad big-time but I still had this bad feeling inside, can't really explain it, but I was pretty lonely. Kinda pathetic huh? But it's my life and I accept it as such.

Phew, I was worrying that you were about to expertly categorize ME and perhaps diagnose what makes me such a pathetic loser.
All the reactions you described are highly situational. If you're in a loving relationship, I'm sure one would find it to be a time to celebrate V-day. But I've seldom been in a relationship in February where the woman has been willing to give affection.
Personally, I think it's a more or less pointless holiday and most people seem to hate it, as you've just said. I might enjoy it more if I got a day off.

>I think you shouldn't lose faith in women, you're just being mean because you don't have what you want.

It's just 'sour grapes'? Thank you Miss Aesop, but no. (Since you've said English isn't your first language, I might have to explain what I mean by 'sour grapes' as the equivalent expression might not exist in your native tongue. I'm NOT trying to be condescending, I just want to make sure I'm understood properly.)
In case you're not familiar with the sour grapes idiom, I'm referring of course to the age-old tale of the fox and the grapes… where a fox sees grapes high on a vine. He jumps-up to try to get some grapes, but he just can't reach them. After tiring himself, he rationalizes his unfulfilled desire for grapes by convincing himself that they're sour anyway and he doesn't want them. Thusly, 'sour grapes' means we hate what we can't have.

But that's not a very apt comparison of my situation at all. No, here's a far better interpretation:

Imagine a fox who HAS managed to get samples of grapes from the vine- and they've mostly turned-out to be sour. In fact, most of the other foxes around him have had grapes from the same vine- and those grapes also turn-out to be sour. More and more, the fox sees data and testimony indicating that the grapes on the vine tend to be sour. Then one day, the fox looks-up at the grapes hanging there and says "you know… why the hell am I trying to get those grapes when I already *know* that they're mostly sour? I ought to find an apple tree instead."

>Would you still be making your website if you had a nice girlfriend?

Probably not. C'est la guerre.

>Even if all other women on earth were bitches and stuff, if you had found the right one for you, you wouldn't care anymore about making that site, right?

Probably. But being a woman, she'd probably be using-up all my spare time by demanding that I buy her stuff when I'm not working my ass-off to pay for it all. So I wouldn't have time for web-sites.

>I'm just extrapolling here but maybe it's just a cry for help? Hoping that some girl will read it and want to go out with you? Or maybe in a less self-involve way you hope some girls will read it and be nicer to the guys in their area.

Well, I think you're incorrect on the first part, Dr. Freud. But you're entirely correct on the second part. It's not a cry for help- it's more of a set of opinion-pieces in hopes that some women might reflect on their own behavior. Sadly, I don't think too many women will ever change their behavior- they've got no compelling reason to stop being selfish, other than the principle of self-improvement. A principle they clearly don't seem to believe in anyway.

>And here comes another "maybe", maybe you're not looking at the right-kinda-girl. Just like not all men are the same, not all women are the same either. There's tonz of girl looking for a nice guy, but nice guys tend to befriend girls who don't appreciate them at all. Maybe you just need to keep searching if you actually want to find the right one for you. And perhaps, not search the same area.

Uh, well I *am* leaving the country very soon…

Look, I don't want dating advice from you or anyone else, thank you very much. The fact of the matter is, your advice also might sound good, but it is nearly impossible to put into practice. All you're saying is 'find a good woman.' Well, a lot of men will agree with me when I dare to say that most women generally have a serious deficiency when it comes to their ability to volunteer anything good; she mostly thinks all she has to do is show-up and try to look pretty. If there are good women out there, they're largely unavailable.

>I love japanese culture, I wish I could go live there as well, it'd be really nice (exept I don't speak japanese, I only know a few japanese words from watching anime). You seem to think all US girls are evil and to idolise Japanese girls, or girls from other culture or whatever. I think that's plain stupid! I'm sure there's some Japanese bitches, just as I'm sure there's some nice american girls.

'Idolize'? Where exactly do I idolize Japanese women?
No, I can't say that I honestly idolize anyone. Oh, sure, I wax poetic on some of the Taiwanese women that I've had relationships with… but I primarily say that Japanese women might not throw-around nearly as much bullshit as American women feel is their birthright to do.
I'm sure there are some Japanese bitches, too- but is there a difference in the bitch-ratios among the respective populations? Do Japanese bitches throw-around a more tolerable form of bullshit? I don't know, but It's a good set of questions which I hope to explore over the next year.

>So far, I hope you'll have noticed I haven't said anything bad about your website (I'm a girl by the way).

What about that bit back there when you accused me of stupidly idolizing Japanese women? Or the bit where you suggest that I complain too much? Or that I don't like American chicks just because I can't have them? Weren't *those* supposed to be negative things about my website?
But no, you've been mainly rattling-off a laundry list of how I've got to further change myself in order to please women more.
As I've already said ad nauseum: I'm not out to please American women because they cannot be pleased and I think they're worth approximately jack-shit anyway.

>I don't think you're entirely wrong, maybe exagerating a bit but not fully wrong that's for sure.

I don't think I'm entirely wrong either. Sure, I exaggerate a bit here and there, but I'm not entirely incorrect about the things I say either. In fact, I might even go so far as to say that the vast majority of the things I say just might have truth in them.

>I'm not from the US so I can't talk about american girl, but I think it's pretty much the same everywhere..

I have to disagree with you, I don't think women *are* alike everywhere.
For instance: I overhear way too many American women talking about their bodily functions, their vibrators and their gynecological issues over dinner in public restaurants- LOUDLY.
I don't recall ANY Taiwanese women who spoke about that kind of stuff in public- it's gross and utterly tacky to do that.
When I'm on a date with a Taiwanese woman, she will quite often offer to help me pay the bill. But American women will usually run-off to the bathroom whenever the check arrives- they seem to act like I should pay for the privilege of their precious company.
Although many women share certain broad features, I am steadfast and unshakeable in my belief that the archetypical American woman is a uniquely crude battle-axe of a hell-beast which defies tolerance.

>women have found an advantage and are using it, after decades and centuries of oppression, can you blame them?

God almighty, spare me the whole tired 'women are victims' speech. Women are not victims of male oppression; they've traditionally had a specially-protected and privileged status in the eyes of men because it is men who competed to benefit women and not vice-versa.
Can I blame them? Pray tell, who ELSE should I blame for their own behavior if not the women themselves? Why is it that your entire gender is one which refuses to accept ANY blame for its own behavior?

>I'm not really a full-feminist, but I do believe in equallity

Heh, so you're a three-quarter-feminist? A half-feminist? A part-time feminist? You pick and choose what bits of their already-inconsistent ideology to believe in? You only believe in their ideology when it's convenient for you to do so? Explain to me how that works. Are you the type of self-contradicting woman who rants about how society needs to give her equal standing, but expects her husband to pay for her house and groceries?

>(how the heck does that spell?!)

'Ekwalitee', because you and I sure as hell aren't thinking of the same thing, as you've demonstrated by your own statements. Since you're obviously not thinking of the fair and equitable behavior that actual equality involves, I'll have to suggest you use the alternate spelling 'bullshit'.

>and that women should be respected and treated farely. Right now, I think the scale has fallen on the women side, and I know we're taking advantage of it.

Wait, you only THINK the scale has fallen in favor of women??!?! I've given a dozen examples of how it has *factually* fallen too far on the female side!! And yes, you ARE taking advantage of it. I'll be damned if you'll actually do something about your own behavior now that you've acknowledged that you know that you women take advantage of the system. You're plainly too-ready to rely-on your gender's lie of 'victimization' to justify how you perpetuate injustice. How the FUCK is it you are a victim when your life-span is longer than that of the men around you? Explain to me how that one works! Bah, no wonder I say your kind sucks! 99% of you are clueless!

>It's politically incorrect to disrespect women now, sexual agression has become an advantage that women can invoque (and they over-use it).

I've already said all that elsewhere on the site, but I'm glad we agree on it.

>But let's not forget that it used to be common that a boss would take advantage of it's secretary and she couldn't do anything or else she would be fired, and we're not taking so long ago.. Ok, so for once the scale is on our side, can't we appreciate it while it's there?

Not if you're truly for 'equality', and you're plainly not. Okay, let me get this straight… if my great-grandfather beat-up your great-grandmother 80 years ago, you want to have the 'right' to seek revenge on ME? Is that the principle that you're invoking? It sounds like you're advocating 'get-evenism' across a VERY wide gulf of time.
You're doing no better than what you've accused men of doing in the past- only difference is, you seem to think it's perfectly okay for you to do it as some kind of petty vengeance.
Do you not *comprehend* the unfair contradiction in your expectations? Do you not see how you've totally bastardized the very MEANING of the word 'equality' by your own statements? 'Can't we appreciate it while it's there?' NO! It's reverse-discrimination! Read the story called Seventh Grade Lying Bitch. What you've just described is a form of low-intensity tyranny!

>About the party section of your site, I think lots of women like to call themselves feminist, but they still want the guy to make the first move.

Ahh, so they're dishonest and sexist hypocrites? This is somehow NEWS to us?

>I'm saying this from my own experience and I know I'm not the only one. I'm too shy to go say hello to a guy I don't know at a party (which isn't a really good example cuz I don't go to partys but anyway, you probably get my point).

'I think lots of women like to call themselves feminist, but they still want the guy to make the first move.' According to your last sentence, I'm glad you tacitly admit that those women include YOU.
I mean, if I said 'I expect the woman to do the cooking and cleaning', that IS sexist… but saying 'I expect the guy to approach me and ask me out' isn't that sexist too? How is it NOT sexist?

>You seem to think all female american are brainless, my tought is most american are brainless period! From my few travels to your country that's what I noticed anyway. (No wonder aol is soo popular there...)

Heh, well I have to agree with that. Well, not ALL American chicks are brainless, just an astoundingly large proportion of them. Yes, many Americans ARE clueless. I don't think there's any other first-world country on the planet where the public schools and mass-media dumbs-down the population to such a huge extent. The intellectual content of evening television is about as low as it is possible to get without actually serving whiskey to the viewers. And American women are dumbed-down and unhinged incredibly so- as evidenced by how many of the best-educated and supposedly 'intelligent' U.S. women can rant on and on about their oppression when they are clearly not oppressed. Is that brainless or what?

>Well anyway, it's getting kinda late and you probably got bored and stopped reading this email a while ago so I'll end it here.
I bookmarked your page so I can go look at it when I got more time, if you ever feel like replying just do so, unless you're feeling 100% Evil and wanna be mean to me even tought I never did anything to you (nor to any men), in which case please abstain..

I didn't do anything mean, except respond to your letter in a completely honest and unrestrained fashion.
I'm sure, in your own estimate, you've never done anything bad to men. But based on your admittedly 'partial feminist' ideas about how inequality is only okay if it gives women an advantage, it really makes me wonder whether or not you're qualified to objectively judge your own meanness towards men.

Women are generally insensitive to men's needs anyway, so it sort of dulls their own ability to determine whether or not they do anything bad to men. The general idea in society is that only women are the ones who need special protections and men have to watch their own backs. Naturally, that sort of environment doesn't breed women who listen to whether or not men are happy and they spend most of their time utterly desensitized to what men are thinking. Am I understood?

>I sincerly wish you the best even if I don't know you, because I sympathize with your kind (the nice one that is),

Gee, thanks for deigning to sympathize with 'my kind', and thank you for writing. I'm not out for sympathy. I'm out to succinctly illustrate why I think women suck. If I've helped inspire you to seriously give thought to your own behavior, then I've achieved something. I hope that I have. But somehow, I highly doubt it.

(Ugh! Why do I feel like banging my head against a concrete floor now? -- NG)

Mercer (a guy) says:

Hi Niceguy, I completely empathize with you. I'm a "Niceguy" myself and, therefore, almost a confirmed bachelor...

I'm wondering - have things changed for you at all? Surely you must have found *one* nice girl by now and have some sort of a relationship.... Am I wrong?

Am I completely off-base or could I possibly be correct in my belief that the so-called "nice girl" is nothing but a myth??

The story about the party was great. I completely relate to that. At my old job back in Jersey, after the Christmas party, I went to a local bar and hung out. Even though I was 'there' - sitting at the table - I was not a part of the scene. When there was conversation, the 3 other people (1 guy and 2 girls) talked to each other. The girls made no effort to include me in the conversation.

One of the girls from my team started dancing with this schumk and, all the while, looked over at me, seeing I was jealous. She knew I liked her and didn't even offer to dance with me. Of course, she was hanging all over the other guy. Where was I? Sitting right at the table to the left of them. This was a small bar. They were dancing literally not a foot from me.

This same girl by the way, only 2 years out of college, was okay with hanging out at the house - or should I say 24-room MANSION of a Partner in one of the Big 5 accounting firms. He was divorced from his wife and here's this kid trying to get ahead and get a piece (or 'pieces' for all I know of him).

No kidding. He drives a BMW and lives in a 24-room mansion in North Jersey. She got herself invited to a hockey game (personal skybox no less) and then to his place for diner afterward and maybe breakfast for all I know...

"$$$" "Cha-CHING!!" (Ahh, Enron accountants... -- NG)

You are right about American women. They only think of themselves and it's all about them and what they can get from a guy. Simple. They're predators.

They also have an easy life. A man just can't go latching on to some woman for support. It simply *doesn't happen!!* All these girls do is party and have fun. That's all they NEED to do. They know they'll eventually find some "sucker" - a "money man" whom they can then manipulate by getting into his head and control.

2 more examples:

I have a lot of debt from studying Law and my MBA. My net worth is actually negative. I have never driven a Saab in my life. At my last job, one of the female security guards - yes, that's right - just sits behind the glass window all day - drove a Mercedes. And another girl there - a low-level admin clerk got a 2000 Saab from hubby to drive. Do you think a MAN could pull that shit with a woman?? HELL NO.

At my firm in Jersey, another Admin broke up with her husband and, miraculously 6 months later, is dating a dentist. Sickening.

They don't need to "OWN" the asset. As long as they have the "USE" of it, it's just as good. Besides, they make the trade-off knowing they are in control in the relationship OR the guy is just a "sucker". Predators, all of them. (He's right- for a woman, it's not a question of ownership, it's a question of access. Access to the guy's balls, that is. -- NG)

I know I sound bitter, but if I didn't have somewhere to live or needed help or just wanted gifts showered on me, do you think any WOMAN would hook me up
the way MEN hook them up? NOPE! I'd be in a box under a bridge.

Fuck em all.

As a last anecdote, I recently talked to a guy that makes $30,000/MONTH (Yep) from his Internet business. He said his wife hasn't slept with him in 8 years. She yells at him and the kids constantly. Of course, she doesn't work. That's the MAN'S job. You know, "support me and my bitchyness...."

Anyway, he had a fight with her and mentioned divorce. INSTANTLY, she said something like, "I'll take half of what you own...." Ruthless. (*Nod* Vicious. -- NG)

He's got her, though. She has run up $25,000 in credit cards from department stores (no job mind you...she got credit because she's married to HIM - "household income"...) and is no looker. Also, she's older, with kids. "Damaged goods." Still, she takes out her misery readily on him and the innocent kids. Not happy BECAUSE she's NOT IN CONTROL.

Please keep posting while you're in Japan. Things might be different, but the women there are "westernized" to a great degree now. Besides, as you said, a woman is a woman. Can nurture win out over nature?? It is an interesting experiment indeed.

Remember, "single" isn't necessarily bad....

My paraphrased reply:

Yikes, thanks very much for writing.

>I'm wondering - have things changed for you at all? Surely you must have found *one* nice girl by now and have some sort of a relationship.... Am I wrong?

>Am I completely off-base or could I possibly be correct in my belief that the so-called "nice girl" is nothing but a myth??

Heh, well, I'm only a few weeks away from leaving the country, so we'll see how things turn-out.

Do I think that the 'nice girl' is a myth? That's a good question. I think 'nice girls' DO exist in large numbers. But then, something happens- they turn into women. The nice girl disappears and she morphs into something very insidious.

I have met nice women, but not many of them are originally from in the U.S. I think there are some nice women in the U.S., but they tend to fall for assholes because they think that they can 'change' him into Prince Charming. Naturally, we all know that will turn-out.

But thank you very much for your moral support... and the stories you sent about those wives- whoa. They all sound oddly typical. If my sister and her Hubby ever got divorced, you'd better believe that she'll be keeping their house. She'd also probably take perverse joy in seeing him live in a refrigerator carton. Thanks for your contribution! -- NG

LordBelial (a guy) writes:

Howdy stranger,

Got referred to your site by another disgruntled male on a forum far away. I must say I was pleasantly suprised: by the title I expected it to be a "Man, chicks suck, eh! They're like, all stupid!" page, but instead it's a quite intelligent piece into which some forethought has obviously gone. (Heh, glad somebody thinks so. -- NG)

I am fortunate to live in Australia and haven't met any American ladies here (yet). In fact, from your writings at least it seems American women are absolute succubi! Surely they're not that bad! I say this because I know quite a few ladies here (not too many, mind, my single sex high school education stunted me in that area) and they're not nearly the bitches you make out most of the women you meet to be.

They (mostly) respect men as their equals, something I am grateful for (but really shouldn't be, it should be a given). Many of them are caring about men and they are Nice. Most of them make the effort to go out with Nice Guys. In fact some of them are straightforwardly lovely, kind and considerate.

Having said that, they still demonstrate many of the agonizing traits I've known for years, and only recognized when I saw then on your site. They expect too much, complain too much and use their womanhood to get past obstacles. They also demonstrate an irritating habit of shying away from intelligent discussion, which frustrates me as I know they're quick and wise individuals, well capable of holding their own. Urg. Oh well, can't expect the world I suppose.

I have to say that I disagree with your logic somewhat though, because you say that girls are only attracted to jerks. I'm not too nice, but I'm not attracting women. In fact I have the joyous advantage of invisibility in that area. Hmm. I'm thinking about becoming a professional assassin for a career, perhaps that can spur on both my financial and romantic lives.

Appreciate that although your love life hasn't seemed too great by your reckoning, there are many others who'd very much like to enjoy your life. I completely fail with women, so at least you can take solace in the fact that you are far better at this game than some.

Jeez, this is rapidly becoming a pity-party. Sorry.

Best of luck in your adventures in Japan, hope you meet a lovely lady there. Please keep updating your site though and I'll send it off in the direction of a few pussy-whipped friends of mine...

My Reply to LordBelial...

Thanks for writing... THE Lord Belial? He usually contacts me by stepping-through a flaming portal in the basement instead of via email. He says it's more 'personable'. Grin.

>Got referred to your site by another disgruntled male on a forum far
>away. I must say I was pleasantly suprised: by the title I expected
>it to be a "Man, chicks suck, eh! They're like, all stupid!" page,
>but instead it's a quite intelligent piece into which some forethought
>has obviously gone.

Heh, well, I can fake intelligence every now and then. Thanks for saying, though.

>I am fortunate to live in Australia and haven't met any American
>ladies here (yet). In fact, from your writings at least it seems
>American women are absolute succubi! Surely they're not that bad! I
>say this because I know quite a few ladies here (not too many, mind,
>my single sex high school education stunted me in that area) and
>they're not nearly the bitches you make out most of the women you meet
>to be.

Well, *I* think they're that bad. Most American men will tolerate them if the sex is good... but when you're getting no sex, there's not much to appreciate.

>They (mostly) respect men as their equals, something I am grateful for
>(but really shouldn't be, it should be a given). Many of them are
>caring about men and they are Nice. Most of them make the effort to
>go out with Nice Guys. In fact some of them are straightforwardly
>lovely, kind and considerate.

Well, that sounds dandy.

>Having said that, they still demonstrate many of the agonizing traits
>I've known for years, and only recognized when I saw then on your
>site. They expect too much, complain too much and use their womanhood
>to get past obstacles. They also demonstrate an irritating habit of
>shying away from intelligent discussion, which frustrates me as I know
>they're quick and wise individuals, well capable of holding their own.
>Urg. Oh well, can't expect the world I suppose.

No. But it's never a good idea to lower standards. I like to set high, yet achievable standards.

>I have to say that I disagree with your logic somewhat though, because
>you say that girls are only attracted to jerks. I'm not too nice, but
>I'm not attracting women. In fact I have the joyous advantage of
>invisibility in that area. Hmm. I'm thinking about becoming a
>professional assassin for a career, perhaps that can spur on both my
>financial and romantic lives.

Oh, yes. International hit-men of mystery and intrigue always get the babes... Ooh, or you should assume the alias of a saucy, saber-wielding, devil-may-care highwayman! I think it's fair to say so far: American women are mainly attracted to jerks. I'm sure Australian women have a distinctiveness of their own that sets them apart in a nice way.

>Appreciate that although your love life hasn't seemed too great by
>your reckoning, there are many others who'd very much like to enjoy
>your life. I completely fail with women, so at least you can take
>solace in the fact that you are far better at this game than some.

Heh, well, that's always good to hear. I poured a lot of effort into trying, and that's probably why.

>Jeez, this is rapidly becoming a pity-party. Sorry.

>Best of luck in your adventures in Japan, hope you meet a lovely lady
>there. Please keep updating your site though and I'll send it off in
>the direction of a few pussy-whipped friends of mine...

Thanks much. --NG

Xiaoyu (a woman who clearly kicks ass) sends:

First and formost. I'm a lesbian. But your site has spoken for me more than I ever can. I don't need to write you my stories because you know what it is.

I think it is rather healthy to voice your opinion in all honesty. Many serial killers are troubled loners who have developed deep misogyny before they finally explode. I think it's great to put the last word of the NiceGuy out in the open before we finally decide to objectify women (which is what they asked us to do.) and retract all the respect that they did not earn.

again, it is so nice to know that there are other people out there who suffers the same emotions and experiences. My salute to EvilGuy.

Oh by the way, I'm asian. Good luck in Japan. Oh! One little advise: No matter what you are trying to run away from, you will not make it by moving to another town. The problem will always follow you around until one day you come up with the solution. I havn't found it. But, hey, a man can use a little bit of adventure. Be sure to write and let us know how things go. and really, good luck.

(I was told that Japanese girls have real light pink pussies. Please verify for me. thanks. After all, they are only objects.)

(That last line is sure a kicker! I'm certain a Japanese vagina isn't too much different from a non-Japanese one. And I'm quite eager to get to know the human being who is attached to the vagina of course. And I hope to treat them as more than mere objects. Oh, I think it's fair to say- as we corresponded, Xiaoyu was able to clarify that she is a lesbian who refers to herself as a 'guy'. She assures me, this is part of her own lingo. Regardless of what sex she is, she can write a damn interesting email nonetheless. -- NG)

I reply...

Holy crap, your email was like a breath of fresh air...

>First and formost. I'm a lesbian. But your site has spoken for me more
>than I ever can. I don't need to write you my stories because you know
>what it is.

*Grin* I'm sure I can imagine. Well, I really appreciate you writing, and if you'd like to submit something in future, I'll be more than happy to read it.

>I think it is rather healthy to voice your opinion in all honesty. Many
>serial killers are troubled loners who have developed deep misogyny before
>they finally explode. I think it's great to put the last word of the
>NiceGuy out in the open before we finally decide to objectify women(which
>is what they asked us to do.) and retract all the respect that they did
>not earn.

Thank you for saying. It's always of great comfort to hear someone say that to me.

>again, it is so nice to know that there are other people out there who
>suffers the same emotions and experiences. My salute to EvilGuy.
>
>Oh by the way, I'm asian. Good luck in Japan. Oh! One little advise: No
>matter what you are trying to run away from, you will not make it by
>moving to another town. The problem will always follow you around until
>one day you come up with the solution. I havn't found it. But, hey, a
>man can use a little bit of adventure. Be sure to write and let us know
>how things go. and really, good luck.

Thanks again. Yeah, I understand that leaving the country isn't a good way to escape one's problems... it's a good thing that my life is relatively in order, otherwise I probably wouldn't feel comfortable jetting-off.

>(I was told that Japanese girls have real light pink pussies. Please
>verify for me. thanks. After all, they are only objects.)

*Grin* Well, I'll see what I can do.. Thanks very much for writing, --NG

(After this point, I asked her for a bit more clarification on why her past relationships would've given her these opinions. -- NG)

Xiaoyu Writes Back After Some Prompting:

Imagine two people in the relationship are both female. Can you imagine that? The terminology in the community is "dyke drama." and drama it is. As you can tell, I'm also an honest, straightforward person not equiped with the drama gene. A well known lesbian joke goes: What does a dyke bring on the second date? Answer: an U-haul. This joke tells you how bad the "leaner" situation is in female-female relationships. I'd say it's much, much worse than heterosexuals.

I declared to be a non-lesbian long time ago, not because I'm attracted to man in any way, but because I am so sick and tired of women and thier ways. Can you imagine that your only choice of dates are all man-hating raging feminist from hell? That's what I'm facing.

I don't hate men. I grew up in all-male environments, so I feel more confortable being surrounded by men. In all my classes, only 10% a