Exhibit B: my Cousin

I've mentioned my cousin in my earlier rant as to why Guys Suck. As I mentioned, he looks like a thug. The way he dresses, the way he talks, the way he walks... I'll also testify that he doesn't have a very good role model in his life- his dad is a beer-drinking, cheating dog. In fact, 4 years ago, my uncle divorced his wife to be with his mistress. I can NOT say many good things about my uncle.

Now, my cousin... once, he and my aunt visited for Christmas about 4 years ago when I was 22. They live in a town about an hour from my mom's house, so he doesn't come-over very often. My mother, who loves to hold events like this, went-around busily preparing her house. Making it all squeaky-clean and orderly.

I look-over the wrapped present labelled "Kara". I ask my mom who it's for.

"Oh." She smiles. "Your cousin is bringing his girlfriend."

I sigh. Yup, I didn't have a girlfriend that year. I was in my first year of attending one of the world's best grad schools and I didn't have a girlfriend. My cousin didn't even have a regular job, go figure. Boy, that made me feel pathetic. I really didn't feel like meeting Kara. I didn't like having my lack of a girlfriend painfully rubbed in my open sores.

So a few hours later, my aunt, my cousin and "Kara" show up. My mouth drops. GAWD! She was... radiant. She had a pretty face, the exact kind of curly brown hair that I like and she was barely over 5'2" (I like petite women!). She was a gorgeous, little petite Goddess. And, she had the body of a porn-star. Now I was jealous.

My cousin, although younger than me, is taller than me. He's a bit intimidating at first, and boy, I was really feeling inadequate. I was really feeling like "what's wrong with me that a woman like Kara won't date me? Am I not tall enough? Am I not attractive enough? Do I smell bad?" Mentally, I was reviewing all the possible flaws I might have. I was starting to get depressed.

So, we start socializing. Kara hits it off with my sister straight-away. My sister is very willing to say none-too-flattering things about men, and this is an automatic route for women to bond with her. My sister starts talking to Kara about what impolite pigs guys are, and gets a laugh. Kara starts to feel a bit more comfortable and starts to talk about herself for a few minutes; she really seems like a nice girl. Eventually, my cousin rolls his eyes and grumbles to her "Don't you ever shut up? You talk SO much."

I'm aghast. It was that moment that I started wishing that society would bring-back dueling. I would slap my cousin across the face with a glove and say "Suh! You have insulted the dignity of this young lady! I challenge you to sabers at dawn!" Well, I would need a saber, but you know what I mean.

My sister chastises my cousin: "OH, VERY nice. Very classy. Kara, why are you even with him??"

Mentally, I'd asked myself the same question the instant I saw her. Kara just shrugs and giggles. I can tell she really likes him.

So, now it's time for the presents.

I knew what I wanted for Christmas: I wanted a girlfriend. I got a clock-radio. I don't remember what Kara got, but it was exactly the kind of sensible, useful present that my mom gets for people. Kara was polite, she says "thank you" and apologizes for not bringing anything for anyone else, she obviously didn't expect to have all this attention lavished on her! What presents did my cousin bring for Kara? Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Bubkiss.

Hell, if she was my woman, I'd be giving her presents every other week!

But, it gets better... My mother had a little basket of small presents- this is her favorite Christmas game. They're unlabeled, random gifts. You see, the game is that you're allowed to take ONE present. We can examine the wrapped gifts to try to guess what they are, and if we want it, we open it. We all pick one box. I get some dental floss. Woo-hoo.

My cousin opens his random present and looks inside... a set of decorative, scented soaps in the shape of seashells. Very feminine.

My cousin groans. "Screw this." He drops his present of obviously girlie soaps and sits-back in the couch. Making it CLEAR that he doesn't care for the present. He glowers at the wall.

Mentally, I'm screaming "Moron! Give the soap to your girl!!! Women like things like that!"

My sister says "You know, if you didn't like the soap, you can give it to Kara." She picks-up the soap and does so.

I realized: I wanted to drag Kara aside, put my hands on her shoulders and shake some sense into her- "HOW can you be with him?!?!" I wanted to yell. "He's an idiot! He's an orangutan! He's one of those little grey monkeys at the zoo who openly masturbates in front of all and sundry! You're a Goddess! *I* will worship you! I will give you flowers and-- you deserve SO much better! GAWD!"

My cousin never got Kara so much as a Christmas present. And then, he cheated on her. The universe allows a woman like her to go out with a total... *grumble* My cousin isn't the nicest guy. He cheats, he's got no social skills... but did she really have to degrade herself by dating him? Did she have a self-esteem problem?

The Big Point:

Here is my point: my cousin sucks, but why does Kara go-out with him? That reflects poorly on HER. Kara sucks by extension; she's guilty by association. She encourages and rewards his behavior. That, and I'm jealous as hell. Here I am, I WANT to be the best boyfriend in the world, and women like her go out with guys like him!

Okay, ladies? If you date guys like that, you're actually encouraging them to BE like that! You're implicitly telling him "I think you're sexy. Feel free to treat me like garbage, I'll absorb whatever crappy treatment and still look-up at you lovingly and smilingly!" He dumped her a year after that Christmas. She was undoubtedly hurt, and it wouldn't have happened if she'd stepped-back and realized "my God, I'm with a fucking dick!"

Jehova, this kind of thing pisses me off!!!! What kind of twisted world do we live in?!

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"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less." -- Brendan Francis.

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