At the Bookstore.

I love bookstores. Well, I love books. I live very close to 3 used booksellers and 1 new-bookseller. There's nothing I like better than to go buy a big, fat ol' vanilla latté and walk-into a bookstore. Then, I'll pick titles off the shelves and once I bundle-up a nice little pile... I flop-down in 'my' spot and just read read read (sip) read read (sip). Life just doesn't get any better.

Sometimes, there will be women in bookstores. I often like to think that women you meet in bookstores are my kind of women. If they read, if they think, if they have an education- OOH, that's sexy.

So, one time, (April, 2001) I was in a Barnes & Noble. I have my latté, I have my pile of books. I see this young woman sitting alone. I walk-by... her nose is buried in a Java-programming book! OOoooooOOOOooh, this could be interesting.

I ask her if I can sit-down across from her (because the other tables are taken) and she lets me do so.

So, I strike-up a conversation: 'Are you a computer-science major?' Oddly enough, she responds to me. And she seems friendly! Her name is Lillian.

"I'm a programmer." (Oh! A geek like me! I felt my spirit brighten.) And she's trying to get certified in Java! I know Java!

I smartly reply. "Well, I'm a software developer. I work for <such and such>."

'Oh, well my boyfriend says that's a good company...' Oh no.

Ugh. I know this trick. The casual use of 'my boyfriend' might just be to tell me not to get too close. Or is her boyfriend actually real? I hate these little games that women play.

That reminds me of another story.. some years ago, my friend Roger and I were once sitting in a Perkin's late one night. We were talking about little mind-games... specifically, casual 'my boyfriend' usage. (Our waitress that night was HOT, by the way...)

"Roge, do you ever notice that sometimes women will say 'my boyfriend blah blah blah', even when you strongly suspect they DON'T really have a boyfriend?"

He nods and sips his coffee. "It's a self-defense mechanism. Essentially, they're saying 'don't even try. As far as you're concerned, I'm taken.' Sometimes they fire it right away, sometimes they don't deploy it until, like 3 or 4 hours into the conversation. Mighty tricky, if you ask me. By the way, our waitress is HOT."

A minute later, the waitress comes-by with our plates. Roger strikes-up a conversation.

"So, Miss, do you always work so late?"

She puts-down our plates and shakes her head. "No, my boyfriend doesn't like it when I work the late shift..." Immediately, Roger and I burst-out laughing.

Anyways, back to the bookstore...

Lillian and I talk a bit... she's got a good sense of humor. She's bright. I'd really like to know her better and maybe she was lying about her boyfriend. I ask her for her email address, and we exchange our addresses.

A week later, I send her an email, asking her if she wants to go out to lunch on Thursday. She accepts. When Thursday rolls-around, I hope that this will be my opportunity to know if she actually has a boyfriend or not.

I'm waiting in the restaurant, and she walks-in a few minutes late.

"Sorry I'm late. And I can't stay long, I have to leave in about an hour..." So we rush through lunch- rushing through lunch always stinks. Near the end of the hour, I ask her about what she's doing that weekend.

"Got plans. Something with my roommate."

"I see. Well, just let me know when you're free to do something, okay?"

"Sure." She runs-off. Presumably, back to work. Ooooookay, now what? Do I wait? Boy, I should've planned this better. Why is it going to LUNCH with a woman has to be as hard as preparing for a job interview or something?

A week passes, nothing. I send her an email: "Hey Lillian... Just wanted to see if you'd like to see a movie this weekend or something... Hope to hear back from you, NiceGuy."

I get a response later that day.

"Dear NiceGuy, I think I gave you the wrong impression. My boyfriend doesn't like it when I get emails from other guys, and I don't think he'd appreciate me going to a movie with you."

Ooookay- WHY, then, did she give me her email address in the FIRST PLACE if her boyfriend doesn't like it when guys email her? Oh well, I don't want to get her in trouble with her boyfriend... or wait a minute... is she making this 'boyfriend' up? It's so hard to tell. Why can't more women be honest so that I don't have to second-guess them?

Okay, it's obvious she's not interested in me, regardless. Time to cut my losses. Sighing, I write back: "I'm sorry Lillian. But, you have to explain to your boyfriend that I have no romantic intentions towards you. I'm sorry for any misunderstanding I may have caused, and I hope I'm not making the problem worse by writing back."

Then, I don't hear back from her. Bah, what a waste of both of our time.

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"Sex is like air, it's not important unless you aren't getting any." -- Unknown humorist.

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